I HAVE mixed feelings about Christmas because for many years, it was just another day for me. Before, a long time ago, when I was living essentially only for myself, Christmas was just another excuse to go out and have a good time.
These days, my children have grown up and they celebrate it, a large part for me. It has become an inescapable fact that Christmas is an occasion to learn to share, or just to share whatever you have. If you have money, of course, that will be fun. If you don't have that much, you share yourself and all the thoughtfulness you can muster. The second part is very much more meaningful.
For example, an unexpected visit to someone you have not seen for years. Maybe you would like to call someone who you know is always talking or enquiring about your welfare.
These are the little acts on your part that brings joy into our other people's lives. It causes you almost nothing but only a willingness on your part to do it out of sincerity. Such intangible gifts from the heart reach the heart of the recipient and the warm feelings almost never go away.
Your kind deed will be kept and be taken out of memory banks now and then, fresh as the day it was given, and all the fragrance of that kind act will rejuvenate the mind and gladden the heart of the one who receives it.
Christmas makes me think of things like that. It makes me think of my sister who left home for about 37 years now. She writes back now and then. She left when she was 18, now she's 55. As she grows older, those who stayed back in the home country become more precious to her.
I guess age has taught her what life had a hard time doing. But she has learnt her lessons well and all of us benefited. Christmas time also makes me wonder about the welfare of my uncles and aunties. They are into their 70s now.
I still remember those years when they were in the prime of their lives. They were so robust, so full of life. Now Father Time is knocking at their doors. They tire easily but the zest of life has not completely deserted them yet.
Yes, I think of them now. I remember the nice gifts they gave me. The fun and laughter we shared. How life has given them so much and taught me so well. Christmas is a good time to remember everybody.
It is not a time to recall old hurts. I make it a point to forget all that. It is like trying to put vinegar into one's own mouth. What's the point? If remembering ancient unpleasant moments is good, then Christmas is as good a time as any to wash them all away.
I think of all those young people who are forced by circumstances to leave their homes, parents and loved ones to earn a living. I think of those painful times when they couldn't return home to spend time with their families. I think of those lonely days they have to endure, and I pray for them.
Yes, Christmas is also a time for reflection, especially reflection in the right spirit. We should take an accounting of our own lives up till Dec 25 and think of all those missed opportunities to bring joy into other people's lives and our own.
What a waste of good chances. But then, there's Christmas again - another chance to say sorry if we have done wrong, another chance to reclaim our own kind self, another chance to bring tears of joy to the eyes of those we care for, and another chance to help others to be good.
Isn't that what Christmas is all about?
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