Getting high on Hai Peng

CHUKAI is a small town in Kemaman with seafood restaurants and the
highly-recommended Kedai Kopi Hai Peng which is famed for its coffee
creations.
AFTER a few hours of driving at a leisurely pace along the highway from
Kuala Lumpur, we spotted the signpost for Chukai. This little town is in
the Kemaman district of Terengganu.
I made a U-turn along the main road and curved into Chukai town. I
remembered the words of a colleague: "Don't forget to wind down your car
window and smell the coffee aroma coming from the Hai Peng Coffeeshop" or
"Kedai Kopi Hai Peng".
His remark was a bit of an exaggeration, of course. I did not detect
any such aroma; rather, I vaguely recalled the dust from the dry roads
and the exhaust fumes from cars and lorries.
It is worth noting that the first Customs department on the East Coast
was first set up in Chukai, which in Malay means "tax". It is an old town
with little to offer except for seafood. Naturally, there are several
seafood restaurants strategically located to entice visitors passing
through.
As I drove, I kept a sharp lookout for the famous Hai Peng Coffeeshop.
Just as I thought I had missed it, a three-storey building loomed into
sight with the name Hai Peng Coffeeshop proudly advertised on the front
of the building.
Located opposite a big car park at the end of Jalan Sulaimani, it was
an unmistakable landmark because the place was filled with customers who
even spilled out to the front and side of the shop. Rows of benches
revealed there were a lot of hungry people at high noon.
If I needed evidence of the popularity of the place, the large crowd
was solid proof. The car park was three-quarters full and there was nary
a table available for our party of four.
Being a nosey one, I took peeks at the occupied tables as I made my way
inside. Many customers had ordered iced coffee which, I believe, was
called "ice-blended Hai Peng coco lava". Anyway, it looked very inviting.
When we found a table, a waiter quickly produced the menu. I scanned
its contents and discovered that among the house specialties were hot
charcoal-toasted buns with kaya. For once, it was not slices of factory
produced bread. If it was, it would have spoilt the ambience. I had
expected better.
My son thought he saw some people eating nasi dagang bungkus, one of
Terengganu's favourite dishes. To our dismay, the waiter told us that
they were sold out on nasi dagang bungkus. It would have been a splendid
complement to our coffee, and it only cost RM1 a packet.
We decided to order the ice-blended Coco Lava. It sounded so exotic
that we couldn't resist it.
Other choices on the menu were Magnificent Fruit King, Coffee Breeze
and Pina Calada.
There were other home-made items like tuna sandwich, French toast,
Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich and Apple Pie a la Mode.
Earlier, I had been briefed by my Terengganu friend that the owners of
Hai Peng actually grew their own coffee beans and made their own special
brand of coffee. Hai Peng coffee is not sold outside Chukai.
The coffee is said to leave no aftertaste. When I was told about its
marvellous attributes, I had my doubts. Frankly, I am not a coffee lover.
I am more of a Milo or cocoa person.
But the friendly urgings of a most loyal supporter of Hai Peng
compelled me to test the waters, so to speak.
The ice-blended Hai Peng coco lava soon arrived with the freshly
charcoal-toasted kaya buns. We sank our teeth into the buns and took a
huge gulp of the coffee. It was love at first bite. Words were inadequate
to describe the unique taste of the coffee.
At RM4.50 a glass (large), the coco lava is certainly a bargain. Hai
Peng would definitely give Starbucks, Dome and Coffee Bean a run for
their money.
It had a certain home-grown superiority that seemed to put other coffee
beans in their place. There was really no bitter aftertaste. The coffee
hit the right spot, as coffee lovers would put it. It gave my culinary
senses a gentle but pleasant jolt. Even if you are not a coffee drinker,
Hai Peng may just turn you into a new convert.
The charcoal-toasted buns had a unique flavour. Freshly toasted and
immediately eaten, the buns are guaranteed to send you into a tailspin
into gastronomical paradise.
The satisfied looks on the faces of customers are ample testimony of
the fine quality of items on the menu. I wasn't sure if it was the charm
of old town Chukai or the sea breeze that gently swept across the land
but I certainly felt very relaxed and yes, quite happy. My family shared
my feelings.
At the cashier's counter, there were stacks and stacks of Hai Peng
coffee powder on sale.
Coffee in sachets, white coffee and black coffee powder, all on offer
to meet the discerning tastes of different customers.
Obviously, the present owners have adopted modern marketing strategies
to put their unique selling proposition in the best light.
From their appearances, the Chinese proprietors appear to be either
from the second generation or even the third.
The prices of the Hai Peng coffee were actually very reasonable and its
exclusivity made it a great bargain. I was actually glad that Terengganu
had so much to offer, even if it was just Hai Peng coffee, for a start.
I learned later on that if passing motorists were feeling rather
famished, they could sample the numerous seafood restaurants scattered
all over town. The baked crabs were quite delightful, according to those
who had tried them.
I still have some Hai Peng coffee powder in my larder. I save that for
special occasions when I have my favourite TV shows on. Almost
inevitably, the first taste revives pleasant memories of that stopover at
Chukai. A cup of Hai Peng coffee is best taken with hot water, and of
course, cream and sugar according to taste.
I still don't drink coffee as a matter of habit but with Hai Peng, it
becomes an exception because the flavour never fails to bring a smile to
my face and rekindle visions of a dear remembered place on the other side
of the peninsula.

Learning to say goodbye

TODAY is one of those times when I have to say "goodbye" to a long list of friends. The company I am working in has decided to give 29 colleagues of mine a minor "golden handshake" in a downsizing exercise.
Some of these outgoing people have put in more than 30 years' service and I have known them for a better part of three decades. I wish there was an easier way to say "goodbye".
When you have known a person for more than one generation, there is a certain understanding that defies explanation or necessitates explanation. That outgoing person has become "family" a long time ago. Sometimes, they are even closer than family members.
I am one of those who is very slow in changing friends because I have always been slow in choosing one. But I like friends. I bear in mind that they are just like me with hopes, dreams, frustrations and ambitions born either of desperation or design.
These colleagues, some of them are nodding acquaintances, have been around for so long that all of us have taken one another for granted. Office relations are like that. We take each other for granted until we know we will lose sight of each other almost forever. We are not sure if we will see each other again and the moment of that realisation makes the friendship suddenly so precious.
Of course, I am sentimental. That what's makes me so human like the rest of the others. Sometimes, life is so fickle. One minute you see a person, the next day, you come upon an obituary of that person. In that one moment in time, you will have cross a gulf that separates this life and the afterlife.
I have had that kind of experience several times in my life. Each face is precious to me in its own perculiar way. I cherish the moments I share with my office colleagues, many of whom have become precious friends.
Occasionally, in hindsight, years later, I think of all the nice things I should have said to their face. Those were opportunities lost. How fragile is the thread of life. If only more of us know this, we will treat each encounter with our colleague as if it were our last, and one day it will.
Now, as I ponder the journey of life that stretches ever so long in front of me, I stare for long seconds at the people I know will leave the arena which has been our playing ground. It has been so long. The years of talking nonsense. The years of watching each other developed in our own unique ways.
Such is the ethereal nature of our existence. When all is faded and gone, we glance back and wonder if it had been all a dream. We think we exist merely for our own interests, and then we find out that it has been one big carousel. All of us interact as God intends it to be.
Each living friend a lesson to us, as it is we for them. It is an endless cycle.
The light that shines comes not from the distance in front of us but it comes from within us.

Internet - truly the Land of the Free

The best and biggest happening of the 20th century may well be the Internet. About 20 years old when a student wants to look up something that is rather obscure, he would have to search the encyclopedia.
Today, all he has to do is to surf the Internet. It is true that not all information in the Net is reliable but there ways of finding out the real truth. These days, the dictionaries which I bought the last 10 years are fast becoming obsolete.
On the Internet, I can search scores of dictionaries simultaneously. Anything and everything I want to know, I have them at my fingertips. The Internet is the most awesome invention known to teenagers and members of the academia.
You can communicate instantly with a friend, a colleague or a loved on the other side of the world. It is a tool, a weapon, a balm and an oracle of infinite information.
If you are savvy enough, you can actually earn a comfortable income every month right there in your bedroom. All you need is a computer and an Internet connection, preferably with broadband.
The Internet has unclamped all the shackles put there by governments on their citizens. These days, you can hide anything anymore. So it is even foolish to try. There is almost no way you can block information from reaching the IT-savvy person. It's because the Internet has too many lanes of information.
Children are using Internet to do their school assignments. Of course, they cheat too, through the Internet but if they do, they will be found out eventually. But the awful truth is, they cheat themselves so it is a lose-lose situation for the cheaters.
Internet today helps the "woman in the house" to do her shopping on line. It helps the busy husband pay the bills via the banking online. It is convenience personified. As a result of the ease of paying bills made easy by online payment, banks are slowly downsizing their staff strength. It doesn't augur well for those firms that have to reduce their staff strength. But it is a necessary exercise.
The Internet has spread its wings so wide and so far that almost anything that can be conceived by the mind of man can be carried out on the Internet.
The benefits of Internet have made it possible for many to become entrepreneurs. The electronic SOHO (small office home office) has penetrated into many homes. Internet also requires very little capital to start with and sometimes, depending on the person, you don't even need capital to kickstart your career at home.
The clock speed of the Internet is getting faster by the month. High speed modems and broadband service have enabled many to download important stuff in a matter of minutes.
The signs are all there. You can obtain an education through the Internet. You can find your "soul mate" on the Net, and you can also lose the shirt on your back twoards Internet.
If an earthquakes takes place in Venezuela two minutes ago, before the clock loses another five minutes, the mattter will be broadcast within 30 minutes. No typhoon, hurricane or tremor will be undetected and be left uninformed so long as the Internet continues to function somewhere in the world.
The most amazing invention of the 20th century that has affected the social and political developments of all nations can be attributed to the Internet.
Today, tomorrow and the future, the Internet will serve as a platform for the underprivileged, the suppressed and the champions of all-that's-good to voice their grievances, advances their causes and help resolve issues.
It is such a powerful tool that authoritarian governments are beginning to feel helpless trying to muzzle their own people. Perhaps for once in a very long time, the playing field has been levelled to the advantage of no one.
The issue here is whether we want to use the Internet for the good or for our own detriment. The forces of good and evil are still in the arena but knowing man and his record of existence over the past 10,000 years, man will eventualy realise that its advantage has always been to move over to the "good side", otherwise everybody loses.

Physical and moral courage

THERE comes a time or times in an individual's life when moral courage puts a person on at the crossroads. Bravery comes in several forms. There is the visually obvious physical courage like saving a person from drowning or rescuing a child from a burning building.
Then there is the "less obvious" phenomenon, much quieter form of courage called moral courage. Moral courage is drastically lacking in the modern world and I shout it from the rooftop.
A lack of moral courage is seen when a person refuses to stand up for his principles for fear of getting the sack, a dressing-down or possible ridicule from his peers.
Moral courage means standing up for something that you think is right. It demands a mental discipline of the first order. It does not call for a "stiff upper lip", just a mental resolve will do, thank you.
When you see your grandma standing up for you (when you were a child)against the neighbourhood bully and telling him or her off in her sternest voice, it's called moral courage. When your dad writes an angry letter to his state councillor, complaining about that gentleman's neglect of the neighbourhood and that matter will go up to the highest authority in the land, that is moral courage.
Moral courage is not seen the physical size of any person nor is it the monopoly of any gender. Moral courage can be displayed by a child of seven, just as it could easily be shown by a grandma of 80. It's what you have in your heart and soul.
There are lots of people with physical courage. It takes a bit of self-arrogance (maybe) and confidence in your own God-given abilities. Compared to moral courage, physical courage is in a different field.
Moral courage demands a higher price. It could meant incarceration. It could invite ostracisation. It could beg for a lifetime of isolation. Yes, the price for displaying moral courage can indeed be very high.
Who among us has not felt the weakness in our knees in instances when we had more to lose than to gain and all the situation calls for is a simple display of moral courage.
Today, the number of people who have moral courage is sadly lacking. If you want proof, just look read the newspapers. Wherever tyrants rule the roost, there's moral courage lacking in that land. Where's there's corruption, moral courage is absent in that nation or society.
The world cries out loud for moral courage among men everyday but where are these brave individuals when they are so sorely needed? Heaven helps us all. In the end, it begins with us. If one of us starts to show some signs of moral courage, it may help to strengthen the resolve of others who are standing on the sideline.
The time is now. The place is where you are. The occasion is everyday. We must do it for our future. Our very survival as human beings depends on our moral courage to live the way we want it, the best we can and the best we should be.

Turbulence in the solar system

Are we still living in the Age of the Aquarius? I don't know. I only know we are definitely deep in the heartland of computers and tumbling towards the edge of chaos as far as winds, heat and water are concerned.
I will never thought I will live to see the day when our planet, the third rock from the sun, goes into thoes of finding climatic balance from month to month. Chunks of mountains come sliding down on unsuspecting villages and its sleeping residents. Giant walls of water rising from the ocean to reclaim land that it called its own millions of years ago.
In the event of this phenomenon, hundreds of thousands of human lives are washed away along with the debris in the horrible wake of a tsunami.
Over in the East, near the Equator, the sun scorches the earth. The wind seems to have gone into hibernation and the land becomes well cooked like a chicken in an oven.
What's troubling Mother Earth? Even the scientists are puzzled. They can only predict to some degree of accuracy where the hurricanes and typhoons will turn when they appear on satellite images.
Are all these natural phenomena? Ask God, say some people. Tell God, say others who swear by piety and all that's holy. But earth continues to spin out of control. Perhaps this is a tad exaggerating. However, there's no denying that with Nature taking its own revenge on people who have cursed the earth with their own insensitivity and recklessness.
There's definitely turbulence in the air. Troubled waters are flowing under many bridges. Men in general are beginning to stir with a concern that has laid dormant for generations. From Iceland to Australia, the ground on which men has built his home, has begin to stir.
What are these signs? What are they telling us? Climatologists, even if they really know what's going on, are not telling. But it is undeniable that something is amiss with Earth.
If Mother Nature wreaks havoc on the ground where she has many subjects, noe of us, including the animals, will have anywhere to hide. It is be vicious and swift for some. Others will have used their wits to survive a troubled earth.
The immortal line emerges: Are we living in the last days? Sure, some of the troubling signs are there but are they also should be accepted as gospel truth. The consolation is that man's will to live is the strongest at history's most crucial hour.
We will probably survive some major holocaust but how long can we hold up. The answers and solutions to earth's woes do not lie with the scientists and politicians but in the hearts of every individuals. We will have to change our mindsets if we want to rechange te world.
If we lost one-third of earth's populations in some global catalsymic upheavel, the history of mankind will careen off into another direction. We will have to take stock of our mistakes. For example, the damage done by man to Mother Earth.
There's really no point in debating which country is the bigger culprit when all you have are bodies to bury on the day after.
Perhaps I am too pessimistic but like many others around the world, I too am not blind to the danger signs blatantly exhibited by Earth and the solar system. The question is: are we too late?

The Day After I Retire

FEW of us actually think of the days after we retire. The normal age for retirement around the world is 55. In more developed nations, the retirement age has been pushed up to 60. In other nations where the experience and contribution of the senior citizens are considered important, the retirement age is now 65.
But that is not what I want to talk about today. When a person retires, whether of his own free will, or whether it has been imposed on him by his organisation, his life takes on a different meaning.
I have a friend who is now about 65. He has been thinking of what he would do from the day he first started working at the age of about 19. He told me that his father gave him this advice: "Son, you should start thinking what you want to do the day you begin your first day of work."
Being an obedient son, he did just that. When he retired at the age of 55 from the same organisation I am working in, he was off to a flying start. He is constantly on the move. He is busy with his own projects because he has planned them about 40 years ago.
Today, he has not time to ponder over his future because he is already living it. Being his friend, I have learnt from his example except that I haven't been planning on what I should do after I retire.
Now, on the threshold of my "easy years", I look ahead and see infinite possibilities. Can a man run out of ideas of what he should or could do with his life after 55 or 65? Truthfully, I think not.
But like all human beings, we have a tendency to pick the easy way out. We want ot put our feet up and take a breather. The trouble is our "breather" can last anything from six months to the rest of our mortal life.
Relaxation is just another word of chickening out. The people who die with a smile on their face are usually the ones who are too busy with their daily lives to be contemplating on life ever after.
For me, I plan to write at least two books; go fishing at all my favourite spots and travel to at least three countries. If I plan it out well, I should be able to spend the next 20 years in an extremely happy mood. My wife is also keen to share my dreams.
Everything good begins with a dream. First, there must be a desire. Then, there has to be a commitment and finally, make a move to make it all come true. Many ordinary working people say "I will do this when I retire and have the time." This remark is so common, that it is no longer interesting or funny.
"After I retire" has become a bad phrase. Why wait till you retire. Why not do it soon, or better still, do it now? A lot of colleagues of mine have professed to do this and that, and then unexpectedly they die. Death is not shocking but it tends to spoil your plans.
We are all living from day to day because there exist circumstances that are beyond our control. I am already living part of my retirement plan. I just returned from venturing to a place that I have talked about but have never been. Well, now I can tell you that I have tasted the nectar from the tree of life.
The result is amazing. I feel better, even happy with myself that I have been there, seen it, done it!! I can now add that to my list of things to do. The people who are happiest with their current circumstances are those who act upon their dreams and dream of matters they will experience.
We constantly advise our friends and family members on what to do with their lives but we also frequently forget to follow our own advice. When we are asked about this, our standard reply is "Wait till the time is right." Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to tell you that there's no "right time". Anytime that you decide to do something is the right time.
One of my most irritating pieces of advice to myself is "I will read this book or that book when I have plenty of time". Consequently over the decades I have neglected to read some of the most beautiful books ever written. My private library has thousands of books. At least one-third of them have been left untouched by me.
But I have since begun to resolve this matter. The last couple of years have seen me digesting the contents of some of my favourite books. Each time I finish one, I will jot the title down as a reminder that I have taken another step in an adventure that I can call my very own.
I have begun to spend some hard earned money on some much desire stuff. Buddha has advised all his devotees that we do not place too much importance on impermanent things. How right he was. But as life is, we are in constant need of amusements.
Amuse yourself but don't be obsessed by it. I am still continuing on my journey and it has been proven to be quite exciting so far.

10 ordinary cures for boredom

Individuals are constantly complaining of being bored. And this is apparently the perogrative of the younger generation. "Oh, I am simply bored out of my skull!" is one of those ubiquitous phrases.
"Is nothing happening out there!" clocks in as a close No. 2 on the famous boring remarks. Well, look no further than this page because there are simple cures for this common ailment if you are up to it.

1. Take out your address book and look for the number of the person who least expect you to call and phone him or her. If you are asked the reason for the call, just tell the truth - that you feel like doing it. You will be surprised how much mileage you can get out of a five-minute conversation. People normally don't time off to do ordinary, painless acts like phoning another person for no apparent reason at all. There are thousands of lonely souls out there, sometimes praying that somebody should call them. They too are as bored as you, then why not you take the initiative and watch how life plays out this Act.

2. Write a letter to your auntie, uncle, grandma or grandpa (they are still around). You know the older set likes to know that the world has not gone on by and forgotten all about them. I have done it a few times in the past and I received return calls telling me how much my letters are appreciated. The old folks live for moments like that - the sudden, unexpected letter showing up at their mailbox. Sometimes, they get an absolute thrill of knowing that somewhere across the country or maybe even in the next county, a relative thinks of them at the most unexpected moments. It doesn't matter if they are a roomful of money, they are still people. Money can't buy everything. Letters are free. Try it and experience the joy of bringing it to others.

3. Get a hobby. I have several. In fact at this stage in my life, my wife is astounded that I have so many hobbies and the younger generation seems to be so unadventurous. It is really up to you. Perhaps you develop a sudden interest in silent movies, or it could be a passion of a particular species of African flowers. Once you are fired up about something, you tend to read or try to find books on it and then subsequently venture out of the house to look for it or people who share the same interest as you.

4. Travel across the State for the day. Take out the car, motorcycle, or even bicycle and just go. Take out a map, find a remote area that has few visitors and go out there and see how people live out their lives in their own little corner. I have done it on many occasions and still am regularly surprised by the things I have learned. You are never too old to learn. Life is a series of very long adventures. All you have to do is to stop thinking of yourself and for once, try to mingle.

5. Learn meditation. It can be very fulfilling. If you are already into yoga, then there's little I need to tell you but if you are not into looking "into your own soul", perhaps it's time you do. Meditation is indeed the final frontier. The final frontier is not out there in the galaxies. Only Capt Kirk has that privilege. Your borderless world is inside you. If you can but take the first step, it may lead you to the other portals that will change your life.

6. Volunteer to do community work even if at the beginning you think it will "kill you". People seldom do community work unless the judge orders them to. There's a reason why the law commands you to be up close and personal with the less privileged. It is an excuse for you to find out that you don't have that many problems afterall. If you don't believe me, ask Angelina Jolie. I am sure she can come up with a hundred reasons why you should do so.

7. Read a challenging book. One of my favourite pastimes is to read. I normally read non-fiction stuff and reading such material has opened my eyes to world yet unseeen by innocent eyes like mine. I have found out that even the mighty have taken bitter pills of disappointment and that nobody is immune from sadness, pain and sorrow. Fortunately, I also learnt that happiness is your own right. Live for today and be the greatest that you can be.

I shall continue this another day because there's another adventure waiting for me that can't be delayed any longer...........

It's February 15, 2006 on my side of the world today. Now, where were we before I was rudely interrupted. Ah yes, I was suddenly yanked out of my house on an urgent errand.

8. Get your priorities right. Life's is not a six-lane, non-stop freeway. We as human beings are allowed to make pit-stops and take a respite as we journey along to wherever we are going. Boredom becomes fossilised when we are too stubborn to change our routine. Like me, you can actually get up from where you are sitting and do something that urgent needs your attention. There are no hard and fast rules in anybody's life. That's the wonderful part of living. You are permitted to change course, switch lanes and board a different vehicle if and when you wish it.

9. Pray to God and for others. Look, you are not meant to be alone on earth, from womb to tomb, from cradle to grave. There are six billion on this small dot of a planet. You are like a speck of dust in a gigantic playing field of dirt and grass. The reason why you are special is because you can interact with others living next to you, near you or a little further from you. Human interpersonal relationships are a great learning experience. We are all put here to learn. Everything that happens to you is a valuable lesson. Sometimes, you meet some stranger because he was destined to learn something from you, or perhaps you from him or her. Who has got time to get bored if we have our own schedules filled to the brim with beautiful, interesting experiences. Ah yes, don't forget to ask God for help if you are "lost". If you are an atheist or existentialist, then God help you, or better still, you help yourself.

10. Ultimately, we all live and die by our own hands. This is a metaphorical statement of insightful proportions. If you complain incessantly that you are forever bored, then you are bored by the very decision which you have undertaken. Nobody is bored by other people. You ALLOWED yourself to get bored. Boredom is not part of our earthly agenda.
Even if you are dead-broke, suffering from an incurable disease or facing Death at the turn of very corner, boredom is the last thing on your menu. If you are on the receiving end of all those things which I have mentioned, I think you can safely come to the conclusion that you are the last person on earth to be bored.
Don't sentence yourself to a life of boredom. Life is too great to be slowed down by a litany of incessant complaints and self-defeatism. You are not that type of person, are you? Now get up and go. Do something. Anything. Just don't break the law.


10

Why give celebrities so much attention?

OKAY, this question has been begging to be answered for a very long time. Why do we ordinary people pay so much attention to celebrities? Who do we even treat them like they are demi-gods or something close to that status?
Surely, our own lives cannot be so mundane and boring that we need to know which actress has been putting on weight so that we have something to gossip about.
It seems as if a lot of us are unable to draw a line between reality and make-believe. It is enough that we pay to be entertained. Actors and actresses are handsomely paid for acting their parts in a storyline so that about two hours of our daily lives are given up for fantasy and escapism.
Sometimes I wonder if all that hype and media attention on the celebrities, not necessarily from the acting industry, reveal something about our own inadequate sociological and anthropological behaviour.
From the perspective of social sciences, I reckon it says that as human beings we are always envious of others who are the centre of attention. We too crave for that kind of reputation or status. Thus, we sort of worship others who are constantly in the limelight because secretly we want to be like them.
From hindsight, we should actually spend more time in fulfilling our own life ambitions. If some of us give as much attention as we are giving to the celebrities, we too will be able to achieve some enviable goals.
When celebrities are at their zenith, the media go into some kind of a feeding frenzy. We buy magazines, newspapers and see the TV to catch up on the latest developments in other people's lives. For example, the triangle love affair between Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.
Does it make our lives any better if these three people change their eating habits or move out of Hollywood? Frankly, no but that does not stop us from wanting to know more.
Humans are such busybodies. We are always minding other people's business. On one hand, it is good to learn more about your neighbours and perhaps a little beyond that. But it is generally unhealthy to be obsessed by people who have totally no connection with us and will in no way be of any benefit to us or our lives, no matter how much we "worship" them.
However, certain industries like companies dealing with public relations, entertainment and advertising are familiar with the weaknesses of society as a whole. They make it seem as if it is worth our while to adore these idols to the point we have to collect their autographs, pictures, T-shirts with their faces on them, and other items that are closely associated with the famous people.
The bottom line is we are actually spending money for the upkeep of these people and the businesses that are linked to them.
If you sit down to analyse all these factors, you will come to the realisation that there is no greater fool than the one staring back at you in the mirror. Wouldn't it be better and more wonderful if we spend our hard-earned money on those people who get the most enjoyment out of our generosity.
Ever heard of the saying: Charity begins at home. Yes, those so-called people whom you sometimes acknowledge as relatives or brothers, sisters and parents. If only, we occasionally give others the benefit of our time and money. How much hope and joy would that generate.
Thus, it is not always wise to ogle at the celebrity who happens to breeze into town. I know it is sometimes difficult not to stare when everyone else is doing it. Look if you must but there's really no need to devote too much time and attention on someone who neither knows you are alive or cares.

When was the last time you cried?

TEARS can either have a balming effect or a heart-wrenching act of contrition. Yes, I too have cried at certain points in my life. In Asia, tears are testimony's of an individual's unshakeable link to his humanity.
When we were born, we announce to the world our arrival by bawling our lungs out. It was an occasion to rejoice for the new parents. From that day on, it is all downhill.
Most of us henceforth from that moment on, cry for all the sad reasons. When we are upset, our faces turn red and maybe even sometimes black. Chances are we become slightly mad, or totally insane. Very few of us actually cry with anger. Men usually don't do that.
When men get angry they tend to plan their adversaries' downfall. When women get mad, they cry. When women are sad, they cry too. Thus, fewer women go to see doctors. Men just get angry, go mad and then proceed on to get heart attacks, develop stomach or liver ailments and then perhaps die. Not exactly, the best recourse but they are none the wiser.
Thus, in truth, it is good to have a good cry now and then. Forget about what your friends have to say about you being a cry-baby. You have a better chance at living longer than them. He who cries first gets to touch base with longevity.
In a way, I like women's method of solving personal problems. They let the tears soften the hard knocks of life and wash away the hurts that may come unannounced and suddenly. From my speech, you probably can tell that I am a man.
Man or woman, it really doesn't exempt anyone from shedding tears. Whether or not, you can actually cry, remains very much a personal decision. Some people cry very easily. They cry when their favourite football team wins. They cry when one of their children passes an important exam. They even cry when they bear witness to a magnificent sunset.
Tears from heaven, as they say. True. Tears are a gift from heaven except that we humans use our tear ducts for the wrong reasons. Tears are allowed during funerals, weddings and court verdicts. Tears are frowned upon when the occasion does not merit it, like your neighbour unintentionally chop down your favourite tree.
We all have tear ducts because it is nature's way of helping us to cope with distressful situations. The ultimate is of course fainting. That is nature's way of saying "okay, I am out of here!"
Otherwise, tears can either be a weapon or a shield. Just look at babies. They are always crying. Notice how often we take notice and give them their milk. Women shed tears to elicit sympathy from men. If you a normal man, and a woman cries because of something you have done to them, would you be able to proceed with your dastardly act? I doubt it. See, that is her weapon, and we get zonked by the act of shedding tears all the time.
On a personal basis, tears as a safety valve should be used sparingly. Use it too often, and the benefit will diminish in time. Use it rarely, and the rewards are great. For example, a period of self-healing and revitalisation. That is why when a dear loved one dies unexpectedly, we cry. With the tears, comes the easing of the burden that weighs heavily on your hearts.
Yes, we do miss our loved ones, our parents, our children and even our dear colleagues. That is what the tear ducts are made for. We cry under extraordinary circumstances, and the very act of crying help us to redeem our humanity in the face of traumatic calamity.
Cry if you have to. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Instead feeling sorry for those who forced themselved not cry. The pain of withholding the tears is must greater than the act of crying that is like releasing the flood waters of a bloated dam.
Human beings are creatures designed to cry. That sets us apart from our creatures roaming the earth. We know how to feel. It is a gift from heaven.





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What it's in a name?

Most of us have got "normal" names but there are a handful who were given unusual names that later become the bane of their lives in later years.
For example, back a decade or two, there was one man who was so obsessed with the Brazilian football team that he name his new-born son with all the names of the entire Brazilian football team.
Needless to say, I am still curious as to what his teachers in school call him in his schooling years.
My dad named me after his good buddy from his childhood. Fortunately, that friend's name is not Dumbo!
Generally, Christians name their children after the saints in heaven or in the Christian books. But these days, parents are becoming more sophisticated. They want society to give them due recognition due to their imaginative ways of naming their children.
No more "Michael", "John" or "Peter" for them. Nowadays, it's Tex, Dexter, Hanson, Ariel, Siegfried or Conan. While, some of us applaud the parents for wanting their children to be identified as unique individuals, we also at the same time sympathise with the child for carrying the burden of having names that can put them in an odd situation.
For example, some parents in the Far East have named their sons "Osama". That's fine but a poor attempt to drawing attention to the poor child. Then, you have a girl who may be named Hyacinth. That's a flower but it is so uncommon that her friends may actually shorten it to "Hayya" for convenience.
Parents should actually think carefully what names they should give their children. There are no prizes for being adults with the most fertile imagination.
So far I have not come across any child whose name is Godzilla but it wouldn't surprise me if I did. Some parents in their obsession to gather a reputation for themselves and unintentional everlasting torment for their child put in their birth records the most ridiculous names you can think of.
For example, how does it feel if you are too young to know better but you have just been named "Spiderman" by your dad who's crazy about the comic character. It could also be Spartacus or Taras Bublba.
I have not ruled out the possibility of a coffee-fanatic Italian father naming his son "cappuccino" instead of just plain "bambino". Just think of the boy's growing years whenever he passes by a coffee shop or happens to be in Starbucks with his friends. The hilarity of the occasion does not escape me.
We really have to be careful how our children are named because it could add a certain lustre to that child's future career or give him a terrible burden which he doesn't deserve.
So till the next Hercules comes along, may I not see another person named Wolverine coming my way!!





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Looking ahead, leaving the past

If you have been working non-stop for a better part of 25 years (excluding the holidays), there will come a time when you wonder to yourself whether you should review your priorities.
Well, I am - reassessing my life directions. All those worldly things which I had dreamt about while I was in my 20s or even in my teens, I have achieved and obtained. What else is there, you might ask.
Time to look elsewhere to achieve other loftier aims. For example, wandering further afield, as they say. In other words, taking longer holiday breaks. Better still, be a master of your own professional career.
That's what I want anyway at this stage in my life. I don't want to wake up at 7.30am anymore and prepare myself for work. It's really not that difficult to go through the routine but I certainly would relish the idea of waking at a later hour, like 9.30am or 10am.
My dream career from now on is having a very profitable personal business. For example, SOHO (small office home office). It's nice to know that there's a career that has a self-generating income. A friend of mine shares my sentiments.
We are constantly bouncing ideas off each other. He throws up a few ideas. I throw back a few of my own. We had a lot of fun imagining and dreaming of the life of comfort and luxury that is just around the corner for the both of us.
I am sure there are a whole bunch of people out there who are operating in the same mode as the both of us. The good news is we are actively working on those little gems of thought. It all begins with a single thought, and then it germinates and finally, hopefully, it grows and blossoms.
When you are past middle-age, your priorities change. You no longer want to marry a Miss World or Miss Universe. You tend to be more down-to-earth. You don't believe in acquiring one billion dollars. A cool ten million will do! In other words, you are not so greedy anymore.
I guess in entertaining these thoughts, I count myself as one of the "normal ones". All of us would like to live our dreams and not just dream of dreams when we are in the sleep mode. Living a dream, to me, means having a beautiful home facing the sea with a wide expanse of fantastic scenery and owning a second home on top of some mountain (not too high) when nature is very much part of the ambience.
Money won't be an issue anymore. My family and I can do anything we like. We shall not take anything for granted. I will be around to frequently remind them of the realities of life. I would like to think that other members of the family would also act as anchors to the ground of humility for me.
It is easy to behave foolishly and maybe even haughtily when life gets a bit too easy. I have seen actual examples of the nouveu riche who unwittingly make fools of themselves by unconsciously adopting the bourgouise persona that make everyone else cringe.
Money does not make a person any different than what he was before the millions came. If you are an overnight millionaire, it just means you have got more money to spend. It doesn't mean you have suddenly become faster, stronger, tougher and kinder. In most instances, if you are lacking in character, you can become a major pain-in-the-neck overnight.
These are some of the things I think about on my journey to the first 10 million. Did I tell you that I am also slightly ambitious. Look, if you have made up your mind to become a tycoon, don't be shy or embarrassed about having 8 or 9 zeroes to your account. It's just numbers.
Some millionaire once said: "After the first million, the rest are just academic." That remark somehow seems quite profound to me.
But the bottom line is life is not all about money. In fact, it seldom is. We are constantly being deceived by the media that money makes the man. Not true. Hard work and meaningful experiences build character.
Those moguls, tycoons and billionaires who came up the hard way know this. So the wisest among them usually don't flaunt their wealth. They know that they might not wake up from their bed tomorrow morning and what does that say about their achievements when that happens.
Still, it's our aim to live life as best as we could. We should be deliriously happy every day of the rest of your lives. It is our sacred duty to be ecstatic and joyful, and it is also our responsibility to help others feel the same way, too.
Life is meant to be enjoyed to its maximum effect. Where will we all be if not enjoying ourselves as we make our way through this life, short or long is not really the issue.
Most of us mistakenly think that we can buy happiness. That means the more money we have, the greater our chances of being happy. We can be poor and still be happy. The difficulty is to convince the majority of the population about this. He who proclaims this truth will probably be laughed out of town.
Back to my objectives in life: I can now safely say, to minimum embarrassment to myself, that I am in a better position to add enhancements to my own life for the betterment of my family than at any other time in my life.
When a person has fewer emcumbrances, it is easier to perform certain deeds. And what are these "emcumbrances"? They are a roof over one's head; a reasonably healthy bank account; a well-being that is the envy of others, and a life that is generally free of minor worries.
Sounds quite reasonable, isn't it? Come to think of it, when one has all the above in generous portions, one can be considered relatively well off. But still I would like to have my own dreams fulfilled in their grandest fashion possible. When they have been achieved and attained in the scheduled times, I shall be most satisfied.
When I have arrived at my destination, you will be the first to know and I will probably write a treatise on the journey to my destination as well. Wouldn't that be great?





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