Hobbies are what give your life that extra edge

I HAVE had hobbies since the time I learnt to walk. When I was in junior school, I used to rear Siamese fighting fish in bottles and stashed them under my bed. Why under the bed?

The reason was that darkness helped add colours to the fighting fish's scales. This I found out from friends who also reared Siamese fighting fish as a hobby. We used to keep these fish in individual bottles because they would set upon each other if two of them were to find themselves in the same bottle.

The only time when fighting fish were put together in the same bottle was when a wager was on. Since we were mere kids who had practically no money in our pockets, we dispensed with that thought.

Later on in life, I reared fighting spiders. My friends and I used to trudged along little explored paths in secondary forest, scrounging for certain vegetation where spiders flourished.

One or two of us would have razor blades in our pockets. When we sighted a spider, the species which we would recognised, we would immediately cupped that particular section where the spider was and a friend would help slice the leaves. Then we took the "trapped" section out in the open and gently nudged the spider into the boxes which we had in our pockets.

The idea was to bring them out in the open and challenge our friend's "fighter king" to a match. This hobby went on for years, until I practically grew out of it. We used to feed the spiders with dead houseflies. But little did we know that when a spider had eatern, it would take days for it to recover because it would become too bloated and sluggish to engage another spider in a battle.

Next was catching birds. Not so much catching them but shooting them with a catapult. We used to take long walks in other people's back lanes and perked our ears keenly to hear the chirp of a distant bird on a tree.

My interest in this particular bloody sport when I actually shot and killed a sparrow. The sight of the dead bird and the wanton killing caused so much distress in me that I gave up shooting with catapults almost immediately.

One of the longest hobbies, I ever had and have is collecting First Day Covers. I started that hobby when I was about 17 years old. Today almost 30 years later, I am still at it. It is a great hobby of great learning proportions.

Every growing child should have a hobby of some kind. Be it reading, walking, or collecting theme cards, the hobby should be sustained for a number of years. Hobbies are great introductions to the world of knowledge and friendship.

It is through collecting First Day Covers that I established friendships with people I have not met overseas. It is through them that I managed to expand my collection of First Day Covers from other countries.

I also collect books. In my early years, I didn't have the financial means to acquire and sustain such a hobby, but today, decades later when the subject of money is no longer an issue, I have been able to expand on the hobby.

Reading, writing and collecting antiquarian books have given me some of the most pleasure times in my life. Its value cannot be gauged. It is the silent satisfaction. The knowledge that I have benefited in such a pervading way that gives me a great sense of worth.

Life should not be just about walking a think straight line but creating paths for others to walk as well. It is when we meet strangers, that we can become friends and after we have become friends, we will enrich each other's lives.

Hobby is a marvellous vehicle for making great journeys in this life of ours. We need travel on this well trodden path constantly and with great diligence. It is only when we do so that we can become teachers and students at the same time.

Hobbies do not need great investment. The most precious investment that we can make on a hobby is our time and a mental commitment to develop that hobby. A man without hobby is a dull man. A man who has hobbies brings that extra spark to his life and that extra lift to his walk.

Little children are reminders of heaven's innocence

I guess for most of us childhood has receded so far back into our memory banks that it will be an almost impossible task to remember all that we should remember.

That is why there are always children criss-crossing our paths. They are there to remind us that only with a child-like temperament can we hope to regain some of our precious bearings which we have abandoned as soon as we entered adulthood.

Some people are lucky. They almost never lose their innocent traits. They may be 80 and look their age but when they talk to you, they have the zest and wide-eyed innocence of a six-year-old. No, they have not entered the domain of senility.

Nowadays whenever, I look into a child's eyes, I remember myself. I recall vividly all the fun and laughter that are part and parcel of growing up. Nothing is difficult when you are young. Problems were just "happenings". It's only when we "grow up", we begin to conform to the rules laid down by our senior peers.

Why should that be so? Why can't we treat life like it was when we were young. We can stare at so-called woes and laugh.

Notice how children will cry woefully and then be laughing the very next minute. That's the wonderful thing about being a chld. First you cry because you think your world has ended, then you laught before you know everything will be all right.

I like children, most of them anyway. They tend to give you that shy, sneaking smile and tend to peek at you from behind the sofa or behind their mother's legs. Every child thinks the whole world evolves around him, and he's right, too, in a way.

That early innocence can later mutate and transformed into a not-so-innocent attitude like "the whole world owes me a living".

When you are a child, a lot of people will forgive you for your misdemeaners. But don't try that again when you are a young adult.

I once told an expectant mother-to-be that children are our second chance at regaining the innocence of our childhood. Children tells us that it's all right to cry, to laugh and to love all over again even if we are rejected and spurned. There's no place in a child's heart for grudges.

If we can forgive and love like a child, then there's salvation for us yet. In the meantime, take time out to be a child. Observe how a child sleeps, and toss around in his cot. The baby does it most charmingly and innocently. He bawls when he wants to, and laughs aloud infectiously without any forethought or motive.

That's why he's such a child. That's how we must be too if we want to re-enter the kingdom of heaven.

What's the best time of the day for you?

THE first thing I do early in the morning, around 7.30, when I wake up is to walk reluctantly down from upstairs to the living room below. First, have to wake up the body.

My mind is already up and running. It's just by body that is slow in responding to the dictates of the almighty brain. The sun is on the ascent. Its rays peep through the slightly opened curtains.

I can't really sleep too late because the brightness that comes with the awakening sky lights up my entire room. As it is with us homo sapiens, our biology cannot be denied. Once light filters through closed eyelids, the whole living form begins to move even though the body is still.

It is as if somebody has switched on all the lights in the house. How does one sleep after that?!

For the next 35 minutes, I go into a series of body movements. It is what the ancient ones called qigong.

It has been created and innovated through the centuries to harness the cosmic energy that is prevalent in the air, the world and the galaxy. If I have gone too far in my description, someone stop me, please.

Anyway, within two hours, I am in the office, trying to smoothen all the spurts and starts in the office machinery. It is not that difficult. After so many years, it has become one huge routine. I can almost do it on automation.

Lunch follows rather quickly. A quick chat session with some office colleagues and mental sparring on innocuous subjects that will certainly not change our lives in any significant way.

The problem with an Asian lunch is the sleepiness that follows about an hour later. Doctors explain this biological reaction in our body as blood rushing to the stomach to digest the food, thus drawing away vital supply of oxygen from our brain. A half-oxygenated brain equals drowsiness. Thus, walking is recommended because it forces your blood to circulate more evenly.

Ever saw a movie where the guy tells his friend to keep walking and not fall asleep in the snow? Well, it's about the same except if you do fall asleep at your workplace in the office, you won't die.

By 6pm, it's time to call it a working day in the office and rush home, or rather join the thousands of others TRYING to get home amid heavily clogged streets.

Now the best part of my day begins. I take a bath, relax and literally put up my feet and let the hidden accumulated stresses of the day slip away from my body and mind.

What do I do? Switch on the TV, of course. If there are any jokes which I think would interest my family, I share them. Nothing like a good laugh to pump some much needed endorphin into the system. Scientists have discovered that a sense of humour is much more valuable than a cabinet full of medicine.

From the time, my feet touched the floor of my house till my head hits the pillow on my bed, those are the best houses for me. The time allows me to re-align my bearings, reflect upon personal projects that need my attention and dream about things that will make me and others happy.

It is a time that is my own and I treasure that immensely.

Something's going on in my life!

For a long time (about 30 years or so), I thought my life was dull, dull, dull. Then about 10 years ago, it suddenly hit me: you don't wait for things to happen, you actually have to go out and meet your destiny.
When people mention the word "destiny", they think it's something inevitable. It's some event or happening that cannot be avoided and there's nothing you can do about it.
Well, that has changed since I "met" destiny. I realised that destiny is when I go out without really planning and have a time of my life. Once, I was stuck in the house for months, doing nothing spectacular except waking up, eating, working and sleeping. All these were routine.
Then one day, I decided why not do something different, to break the monotony. So I got the whole family together and we shot off in the car to a coastal town. It wasn't a world class vacation resort but it certainly was different from my permanent neighbourhood.
It was actually the journey that turned out to be an eye-opener. Along the way to our destination, we bore witness to structures, ancient and modern and lifeforms, livestock and human, who live in habitats not common to us.
It was then, it dawned on me that all these years since the day I was born, I have been trudging along the path of other people had paved for me. If I am to become part of destiny, I have to chart my own path.
In other words, I have to hack my way through undergrowth (figuratively), and clear the bushes that stand in my way. In doing so, I leave a trail for others who are too timid to create their own destinies.
Why are they so many of us who are too ignorant to create control their own fates, thus make their own destiny and in doing so creating a future that fit their dreams and plans.
In the final analysis, it was so simple. If you really want, as I did and still do, I have to do something that I desire without fear or favour. Do I have to wait till the planets are in alignment before I act. No. A thousand times no. Everyman is his own chronicler. He writes his own history. He pens his own life lines. He walks down the avenue which he builds with his own hands and with his own effort and sweat.
Actually, it is not a daunting task. It is merely an assignment which is done freely, happily and with great determination.
That is what I mean by "something is going on in my life". I now know that nothing is beyond me. Nothing can be impossible, if only I desire it so. Life is full of infiite possibilities. It is like an exciting and unending chess game. One move determines the future of a thousand other future moves.
A change of heart will only open other possibilities. It is an exciting life. It is everybody's choice to make his or her life meaningful and filled with satisfactions and joy.
Do you want it now, or do you just want to think about it? Do it now because heaven is HERE, there is no other place. Heaven is is NOW, there is no other time.

How to win a girl's heart and not be labelled as a jerk!

Rule No. 1 - a girl is another person with feelings. Memorise that and recite it to yourself everyday!
Girls are the feminine gender, in case you have forgotten, like to meet a gentleman in every aspect. In other words, when she's about to leave the car, please open the door for her.
It's old fashioned, I know, but girls just love it. When she comes over to your table, please stand up. That's the old protocol. Another silly old-fashioned habit but it works. It also means you stand up every time, a woman comes over to your table. She doesn't have to stand up for you, though.
Remember her birthday, and don't buy something meaningless. Get her a rare stalk of flower, maybe black tulip. If you can't find that, 24 of those velvet red coloured roses will do just fine.
Also, don't forget Valentine's Day. If she doesn't reciprocate, please don't kill yourself. Otherwise, if she changes her mind about you, you won't be at the receiving end.
Show some manners if and when you meet her family. That means try to be a real gentleman about everything, even if it kills you. Once you have made all the good habits part of your persona, any girl would be proud to take you home to meet her mummy.
Please, don't go dutch when sharing meals. Sure, you are broke but you are not a tight-wad, are you? Even if all you could afford is one meal, make sure it's hers. Tell her you have just had a hearty meal. Lie, my friend, lie. Of course, she will find out sooner or later. That's why she may just fall in love with you.
Be kind to children and be sincere about it. Girls will grow up to be women one day and later on in life be mothers as well. They admire men who display affection for the little ones. Remember, one day, you too will have children of your own. If you can't love other people's children, how much more will you love your own.
Every girl who is normal in every way will notice that great quality in you.
By all means be religious. Go to church. It won't kill you to sit in God's house once a while. Prayer enriches your life and lightens all burdens. Girls prefer boys who are spiritually inclined than those guys who are inclined to drink the spirits!
Dress decently. That is not compulsory but it helps. As you know, every little thing helps. No girl wants to be with a cruffy guy for long. He may just attract fleas, or worse, lice.
Whatever you do, give her the first preference. That means, you reserve the best seat in the house for her. Give her the best portion of the sirloin steak and save the last dance for her.
Always have a sense of humour. If she can laugh with you, she can live with you later on. A girl is wary of any guy who is remorse, taciturn and constantly moody. If he's like that during a relationship, think how dangerous or boring he would be when the wedding bells have died down.
There are only so many years in a person's life. Don't wait too long to tell her your true feelings for her. To waste time not saying all the right things means letting the heavenly feelings get away from both of you.
After you tell her, you love her, or are falling in love with her, there can only be two results. One, she said she doesn't share the same feelings as you. Fine, at least you know the truth. Two, you may just get lucky and hear from her that she also loves you like mad.
Of course, there's a third possibility. She may just laugh. If that happens, again, don't drown your sorrows in a crate of Guinness.

The Carefree Days of Youthful Exuberance

IT seemed like only yesterday but I still remember quite vividly sleeping on the beach on an island together with two friends around the time we had finished our high school.
The days seemed constantly everlasting. We were on the threshold of adulthood. Still no responsibilities, no jobs, no girlfriends and hardly any worries. It was a wonderful time on earth.
A group of us, mainly school mates decided we would make a trip to this island called Pangkor. It is about 80 miles from our hometown. Pangkor island was an idyllic place. It is still a holiday resort after so many years.
I haven't been back to that island for more than 30 years. I heard from friends that it has developed beyond my recognition.
But on that day and night while I was there, it was like another planet. We dozed off on the sun-kissed, golden sands of Pangkor. At around midnight, we heard this awful noise. We opened our eyes and the waves of the high tide were lapping at our feet.
Needless to say, we headed for higher ground. Then at 4am when total darkness enveloped the place, the torrential rain began. The winds were howling and those of us who had earlier bragged that we wanted to be close to nature, sought shelter in the roofed canteen that was without walls. It had only long narrow benches and tables.
By then, I was very sleepy and tried to catch 40 winks on a narrow bench. For a fleeting moment, I dreamt of that soft, comfy mattress back home. But that was just for a moment. I was too young and reckless to care or to plan for the future, or even to think of the physical discomfort that came from living wild and free.
That was only one episode in my youthful days. I was also slightly addicted to that hobby called hitch-hiking. We who have little spare change in our pockets have resorted to using our thumbs to get free rides on the highway.
Yes, those were also the days when highway robberies were almost unheard of, like these more dangerous days. My father wasn't really worried about me. He too had his "living wild and free" days, so he understood my situation quite well.
Sometimes, I got lucky and didn't have to wait too long before a generous motorist stopped and took me to my destination. However, there were times when I stood for hours without a single soul casting a glance in my direction.
One thing I found out from those hiking days, the people who were most likely to stop and give me a lift were the truckers. For a long time, I wondered why only this particular type of individuals had any sympathy for us lonely hitch hikers. Then, one day I figured they were the ones who understood very well what it was like to be a lonely traveller on a very long highway. That was why they felt a kindred relationship with us young hikers.
From my numerous road trips, I learnt to understand the trucker's life and the kind of people who had made driving vehicles on the road for a living.
Youth also meant doing things on impulse like the time when I rode on my bicycle about 10 miles to a celebrated waterfall. The leader of the pack was a seminarian by the name of Charles. He was the one who told me: "Look, you are still young. Don't be afraid to try the unknown. If you don't know where a bus leads to, just hop on to it, ride it all the way to the end. The furthest it will go is the terminal. Then you can turn around and come back. Along the way, you have the pleasure of looking at the sights and listening to the sounds that the journey provides."
How right he was, too. The only drawback I experienced from my 10-mile bicycle trip was a severely cramped leg when I leapt into the water. Fortunately for me, the water wasn't tha deep so I still had one good leg to hop back to safety. But it was a lesson well learnt.
When you are at the overdrive of your life, you think nothing of sitting at the front row of a cinema. Your eyes are almost touching the screen. It was the cheapest seat I could afford and I couldn't afford much. There I was, trying to adjust my normal vision with the gigantic screen. After a while, it didn't really matter because I was too engrossed in the tale that was screened.
As one touches the veil of adulthood, one always think the world can wait for us. I had that experience. It was exhilarating. It was exciting and girls seemed so far away. We didn't have time for them. I didn't anyway.
Now as I glanced back over my shoulder to envision those wonderful, carefree days, a smile washes over my face. Yes, it was a great time. Then, I realise "hey, it's not over yet. As long as I have breath in my body, everyday can be another stupedously thrilling day."
And so my adventure begins again. This time on a different level..........

Remembering those who have passed on

In my decades of wandering on planet Earth, I have had my fair share of losing friends. Not because we quarrelled but due to the fact that their time on earth had expired.
At the age of 21, I received news one day that a good friend Png Soo Keat had died in a tragic accident the previous day. At that age, one never thought a person can die at that age. Soo Keat was the same age as me.
We were almost as thick as thieves. We exchanged thoughts about the kind of girlfriends we would like to have and other nonsensical issues that occupied our less-than-adult minds.
Then one day, he was gone. Most of us attended Soo Keat's funeral. We carried his coffin and reminded ourselves that life in general as its shelf-life. The years went by and we forgot about the frailty of life, until the next time Death comes a-calling.
Those who I remember right now and are no longer with us are Raymond Nathan, Goh Keng Lee, Subintheran, Mah Swee Aun, Johnny Yap, Veera, John Pillai. Low Chee Wah, Barney, Long John, Jambo, Khairi, Ambrose, Mike Cannon, John Bagley, Peter Sullivan, Francis Chong, Jeffrey Ramayah, Laksana, David Thamyah, Noordin Soopiee, S.H.Tan and Maarop Noh.
I am sure there are others but I have forgotten them. Sometimes when we take our jobs too seriously, we should remember all those who have left us. Perhaps, according to our own perception, they left too soon. Death is a constant reminder that in everything we do, the good deeds are the things that linger on after we have quietly or noisily passed on.
Most of us would like to live long, have lots of money, buy anything we want, eat everything we want and wake up at anytime we want. The obituaries are signposts that tell us that in everything we do, we have to do them to the best of our abilities. That way, even if we should depart hastily, we won't have left a job half-done.
Nobody would like to enterain the thought of his actual day of passing. We all think we "can handle it" when the time comes.
In a way, Death is good for us all. It means we have shed all of our earthly burdens. The journey on the other side is one devoid of physical labour. Not that kind we see on earth.
I have read numerous books and articles about those who have had experienced Near Death Experiences (NDE). Not a single one complained that he has to do hard labour when he was on the other side.
Sometimes when I catch myself pondering over these ties I have had with the friends who have gone over to the other side, I realised how fleeting most relationships were.
We don't value time with friends as much as we should. We don't really think of them when they are not with us but some of these memories are very pleasant. Thus, it is prudent to value the time we spend with friends.
For example, about an hour ago, I had lunch with my former boss. He comes around and strenghten old ties with friends on a regular basis. Sometimes, I do wonder when he passes on, too that will I remember him with some fondness.
Most of us don't put a price on anything until we have lost it.And that includes humans. Have you ever heard of people saying "I was talking with him yesterday". Obviously, they are referring to someone whom they met and now is no longer with the among the living.
This friend with whom I had lunch said: "Nothing in life happens by accident. The fact that we are meeting now is a date kept by Destiny." I too subscribe to this kind of philosophy. Every encourter, whether with a friend or a stranger is a lesson, either for me or for the other party.
If we only realise how precious life is, and how wonderful it can be, we will waste no time in living from moment to moment. And if we are given the opportunity of creating excellence or doing the best we can, as long as we can, and as much as we can, we should do it.
Isn't that is our destiny? Our destiny is to be the greatest version of the grandest vision of ourselves. We can achieve such a phenomenon.
Life is a journey. The lessons are the people we met. Lessons are also found in failures. If we can inspire others and motivate the disheartened then our jobs on earth are half-done.