Remembering friends

From the our first day in school till the day we die, we make new friends. How these friendships will develop or affect us is up to us. I can recall my school friends from way back about four decades ago.
We were always looking for excuses to laugh and I was designated as the joker in the pack. So for years in primary school, I was teasingly labelled as the Jester. I can still recall the faces of my young colleagues in school.
They were all fresh-faced, naive and mostly innocent. Those were the days when our only responsibility was to ourselves. If we can make it to school, we would be all right, so to speak.
As the years passed, friendships formed in school faded away. Years later, when some of us meet, we can no longer remember each other's names, even though our faces bear a fleeting remembrance of some kind.
As I entered my teenage years, my friends came from a slightly different world. We were no longer so carefeee. We begin to wonder more about life and what the future had in store for all of us.
Some of us didn't make it past secondary school and had to chart their future under different circumstances. Years later, the rift had widened to such an extent that memories of the past were not strong enough to hold together those ties that were formed during teen years.
Well remembered faces become fleeting visions and from slight recall, the friendship slips into the deep recesses of one's mind.
When I was 21, a good friend also aged 21 was killed tragically in an accident. All of us felt extremely sad for him. Six of us were pall-bearers on the day of his funeral. It was as if part of us had died. And indeed, well did in a small way.
Now as I graced my fifth decade, I glanced back and see those well remembered faces and wonder what had become of all of them. Of course, I can't remember all of them but those that I do, often bring a smile to my face.
About 30 years ago, I found myself sharing an apartment with two frieds. One of them was a varsity mate, and the other was the close friend of my friend. We bonded for a while. We were all bachelors.
They understood that I was looking for a job, thus had to count all the pennies to ensure a trouble-free existence till I landed a job. I can stil see vividly in my mind, those two friends making it a regular practice to pay for my meals. The fact that they were almost as poor as me, shocked me.
The one I remember most was later in skid row himself. He has since slipped into obscurity. I miss him. Sometimes I think of whether I could repay him for all his kindness but I realise it was chasing after a rainbow.
The friendship that was formed in those years, made me a better man. Now I know what it was like to share a meal with those who have less than me. Nowadays whenever I come across a guy who needs a break, I am reminded of those times when I too needed a helping hand. These are some of the valuable lessons I learnt from the School of Hard Knocks.
Life sometimes teaches her most precious lessons when you least expect it. For example, when a close relative of mine was admitted to the hospital and she needed blood, two office colleagues called a taxi and proceeded to the blood bank in the hospital to do the needful. They did it during office hours. I was most grateful. I remember their faces up till today.
When my father died, several colleagues drove more than a hundred miles to attend his funeral. Again, I am humbled by that fact.
Friends died suddenly now and then. Each time, I lose one friend, I remind myself of the fragility of our existence; that our mortality is all too real. I think of all those nice things which I want to say to people but held them all back because I was either too shy, or too afraid.
Incidents like death and grave illness tell me I have tallied too long on unimportant things when other more valuable experiences await my decision. How silly we all are when we were young. We hold too dear and too near to our hearts all those minor stuff that bore us no good.
I remember all those friendships which almost never made it. I recall the faces of those friends who passed away in the years when we had not met, only for me to discover too late later on that he or she had died. And I moved on with my life, with the single thought that life's too precious to be wasted on ego, self-importance and material pursuits.
Friendship cheers the faint and weary
Makes the timid spirit brave
Warns the erring, lights the dreary
Smooths the passage to the grave