Here Comes Christmas Again

Two thousand years ago, give or take a few years, a man and his wife, found their way into Bethlehem. As the story goes and it has been well told for 2,000 years, the couple was turned down by every innkeeper in town.
So the new born child found his new home on earth in a manger for animals. However, his birth was marked by the Star of David which shines on earth forevermore.
He was the messiah as promised by the prophets and as foretold in the Bible. But he brought no army with him, and raised none. In his wake, as a man around 30 years old, he brought forth another message.
It was a message of peace unto mankind and forgiveness for enemies. On top of that, he says all men are brothers, and that includes the women as well. So it came to pass, that his end should come at the cross where he was crucified and nailed.
It was a death, he foresaw and shuddered but as all righteousness shalt be fufilled, he walked steadily to meet destiny and the future of mankind.
Now in the third millennia of civilisation of mankind, the symbol of the cross has spread across the world, across the lands where he had never walked. But the message is the same: love thy neighbour, forgive your enemies and walk in the light of the Almighty.
It is now the evening of the year 2006, and we are standing on the threshold of the dawning of 2007. But before all that, Christmas is upon us again. As citizens of this modern world, quite unlike that which was Nazareth, Jerusalem and Bethlehem of the days of yore, we celebrate Christmas in bright lights, good food and family dinners.
The carpentar who came, saw, preached and died, left his teachings in books and elsewhere in printed form for all of us to remember and learn. This Christmas as in all the past Christmases, we strive to remember others, even as we can't forget ourselves.
Christmas in its true spirit is all about caring for others. Afterall, God has already taken good care of us. The others have not been forgotten by God because we have forgotten them.
The little acts of kindness that we remind ourselves that we must do have been forgotten in the loud cheers of a spirited pub or boisterous restaurant. How many more die quietly and perish in hunger thousands of miles away without our knowledge.
It is Christmas for them, too but where are we? It is time we remember these brothers and sisters of ours in faraway lands. These are the people we have not met and probably won't meet for the rest of our lives.
Modern media have brought their plight to our living rooms. As we partake in our God given festivities and blessings, we should strive to say prayers for our fallen brethern. These are the women, children and the infirm who can't fend for themselves.
Their prayers, if they know how to pray, seemingly go unanswered. But their prayers have been heard by God and now it is our turn as fellow members of this human race to do all we can for them, as much as we can, and as long as we can.
There have been thousands of Christmases over the ages. Each year when the occasion comes, most of us fortunate ones end up partying till the wee hours of the night and into the early hours of the morning.
Even though enjoyment is not a sin itself, perhaps somewhere along the way, we have forgotten what the true spirit of Christmas is all about.
Do we remember the troubled and hungry people of Darfur, do we care for the angry inhabitants of Gaza and West Bank, do we spare a thought for our brethern in North Korea, in every land that has been struck by natural disasters of magnitudes that easily claim lives?
The message by the Nazarene has been the same for two millennia, and it is we must look after our own kind, no matter where they are on earth. Only when these "lost sheep" have been found and cared for, will our own woes begone.
Our future is tied to their worrisome present. Christmas is not so much about celebrating the arrival of the Messiah. He has come and gone. He has done his job and is now back with his Father. We are still on earth, and our duties are not over.
Perhaps it may be unfair to ask each man to do the job of world leaders, perhaps it is too colossel a task for most of us to venture forth and extend a helping hand to all troubled souls in every corner of this earth.
But it won't be difficult to help our next door neighbour who may be unhappy for reasons known only to himself. If we can't help him in a concrete manner, we can extend a ever ready listening ear to his litany of woes.
Help comes in all forms. It is helping an aged citizen to cross a busy road; it is that smile that is unexpected by the stranger; it is the unannounced gift for someone who needs it badly; it is the voice that speaks up for the meek; it is those legs that help seek succour for others too tired to walk: and above all it is that willingness to help total strangers in every way possible.
This is the Light, the Way and the Truth that have been spoken and echoed for ages. We do not belong to the Legion of the Deaf. Why do we not hear? We are not members of the Army of the Blind, why do we not see the misery of others?
The spirit of Christmas is once again sweeping across the world. It is supposed to lighten the burden of our hearts and lift that weight off our minds, and yet we do not do anything to help ourselves.
As we help others, we alleviate our own load. Blessed are they who help others more than they help themselves, for they are the true children of God.
The road to kindness is narrow and winding. The highway to the pursuit of happiness is long and wide. The road to love and compassion is obscure and untarred. The highway to avarice is a dual carriageway.
It's time to rebuild the smaller and much neglected roads because they are the highways to heaven. Unless we get back on the right road, we will forever wander in darkness and in sorrow.
Christmas descends on us once more so that we remember that we are a race of superbeings. That we can do better, because we are better. The light has always been in us. It is part of us, and it is us. Yes, the Star of David shines in perpectuity, but the light in us shines for eternity.
Merry Christmas to all you good folks.

Death takes a friend

Recently, I lost another friend to terminal illness. Death comes these days on swift wings. Earlier this year, a former boss of mine also lost his battle with cancer. He died at 61. My former office colleague died at the age of 51.
It is true to some degree what some people are saying. They are saying that people are dying at younger ages these days. Is it because they pile pressure upon themselves.
Actually, very few people like to discuss the subject of death. Why be so morbid, they would say. It is as if, none of us really dies. I mean if you say a person has passed away, that doesn't mean he's still around.
What's the difference between "died" and "passed away". Whatever term you use, it doesn't change the fact that his lifespan has ended.
We all know Death will be knocking on our doors one of these days, so why wait for it with great anxiety?
I sometimes tell friends that I learn more about Death then from people who think they can outlive others. What's so great about living up to 120? By then, most of your friends are dead and gone.
Children have parents who live up to a ripe old age, are often overheard grumbling that it is becoming an increasing burden to maintain an aged parent or two. Asians normally just bring their aged parents under their roof until it's time for time to die a natural death.

Sometimes, I tell others and myself: "Have we learnt nothing from death?" We are born, we study, we work, we marry and then we die." Surely, life is more than all these.
Well true. Those who live life to the fullest know life is slipping away from them by the minute but they are often too busy to notice. It's fine to live up to 200 years old, provided there's a divine mission in there somewhere.

I have heard someone grumbled once: "I am losing more and more of my friends to death and old age." My reply was "make new friends." Actually, if we can live life as if we will die tomorrow, we will have truly live.
Unfortunately, many of us try our level best to beat Father Time and the man with the hood and sickle. It's when we try too hard to extend our longevity that we lose sight of life's objectives.

Allow me to put it in simpler terms: if you are too preoccupied with eating vitamin supplements and dieting, you will have no time to have fun with your family, go fishing, watching great movies or just plain reading marvellous books.

Every time, a friend of mine dies, a relative checks out of Planet Earth, or just hops on to that one-way celestial flight 101, I ask myself: "So now what have you been doing to make your life and other people's lives better and happier?"
You will be surprised at what I found out. I actually find out that I have been neglecting doing some of the more meaningful things in life. And what are these?
Would you believe taking an early morning walk, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the magpies sing in the trees a great pastime? Or, riding a motorcycle with no special purpose in mind other than feeling the cool wind against your cheeks, another great thing to do?
Well, these are really fun things to do. A friend of mine just stopped by at my desk about a minute ago and said something about making money. I told him, one doesn't have to be rich to be happy. He said something about not many people are in the state of zen.
Actually, we don't have to take the "long route" but if we just simplify our lives and cut down on unnecessary chores, we will carry far less burden on our shoulders.
When you tell some people this, they may inadvertently think you are preaching to them. And yet there are people who actually saunter up to your house or living room and want a conversation about life and its priorities.
I have spent a number of decades on earth. I am no genius. I am no philosopher but there are some things I know from other people's experiences. Surprise of surprises, I learn a lot when I hear or read about the death of colleagues, relatives and others.
What's so terrifying about death? People think of death in the wrong terms. They think when they die, they will have not spent enough of money to enjoy themselves to the fullest. They believe that if they can't live an extra 10 years, they have not fulfilled their destiny. They are firmly convinced that if they have not visited the 10 most visited holiday resorts around the world, they would have failed as human beings.

Pity them? No. Just lead a useful, productive life, and you will know the true meaning of personal fulfilment. The happiness that you generate for others will be the happiness given unto you. The love that you give and share with others is the love that will surround your life.

When people ask me what is the secret of true happiness, I tell them to look at the simple things in life. What are these simple things? Well, for a start, family. If you have a happy family and much of the happiness under your roof comes from your kindness and compassion and selfless acts of charity, then you would be considered to have seen the brighter side of simplicity.

The other simple thing is food. Do not try to eat everything on the table. You only have one mouth and one stomach. When you have had enough, please stop. That's not rocket science. That's commonsense.

If you can't visit Barbados this year, try not to cry yourself to sleep. Take a drive to a small town, sit in a rundown coffeeshop and make conversation with strangers, you may find it being more beneficial than sunbathing with strangers who really don't want to talk to you at all.

Again, we come back to the subject of life and death. If you don't have a stretch limousine, don't be blue. Billions of people on earth don't have stretch limos. Big cars don't bring happiness, they just take up more parking space and become a target for car thieves.

When you are trying too hard to earn an extra million or two, stop and ponder over the fact that God may call you home early tomorrow morning. Then, where will all your earthly possessions take you?

You leave them all behind, you dope! You take nothing with you. You take with you the intangibles, like love, memories, kindness, prayers and sincerity. All these that are given freely by you, will in turn be freely be given unto you.

The gates of heaven are only open to those who have no earthly baggage. God's house only admits the things that he recognises. The peace, harmony and happiness that you have created or generated while you were on earth will be accounted for in the treasury of heaven.

All that is done in His good name will be checked in at heaven's gate. Death is the final arbiter of your time on earth. Being good at making money on earth simply means just that - you are only good for making money on earth. Heaven wants no part of that because money is not legal tender in heaven.

Next time, you come face to face with Death, stare at him straight in the face, he may be trying to tell you something.

Taking blue skies for granted

We human beings are always taking the good things in life for granted. Take for example, the blue sky that greets you every morning when you walk out of the front door.

I have been expecting and receiving blue skies for decades,until recently when the haze from a nearby country swept into our region (Southeast Asia). For weeks, the sky was grayish and was definitely dirty.
Breathing became laboured for most of us who travel daily on the road. For a while back there, it was depressing. Nature which used to grant us all kinds of favours was not amused anymore.
The shifting cultivators in Kalimantan, Sumatra and other Indonesian islands were burning up patches of the jungle and forest indiscriminately. At one point, satellites spotted close to 900 hot spots from the orbit.
Suddenly, the entire situation became quite grim. Doctors were doing good business. Bronchial problems became common. I developed a cold that wouldn't leave me for about seven days. Normally, the flu bug normally takes up residence in my body for only 24 hours before I give it the heave-ho!
Today, I read in the newspapers that the depletion of the ozone layer over earth's atmosphere is alarmingly large. Just about a week ago, Tony Blair (British PM) had one of his environment experts pronouncing dire warnings about global warming.
It's all coming together, if you know what I mean. If the earth thinks it can survive very well without some positive contribution to the well being of a living planet, it is becoming quite apparent that the planet will strike back.
It bears logic that if you don't after your backyard, it is not going to grant your the favours that you deserve. In many industrialised countries and in continents where manufacturing and other industrial activities are taking place, signs are seen on the ground and in the sky that all's not well.
Soon, and here we are talking about perhaps a decade or two, the process will become hazardous to our health. Yes, we probably have to go into damage control when the alarm bells ring. However, by then, the death toll will indicate that once again, man has committed another colossel error in managing earth.
It is so strange that while we are making so much fuss over wars, potential regional conflicts and life-threatening diseases, we are also neglecting with impunity the planet we call home.
It is like setting the roof of your home on fire and still have meals in the dining room. It really makes no sense. Where are all the so-called intelligent people on earth? Have they left for another planet?
At this rate, we really don't have to worry too much about AIDS, cancer or bad food because we are going to die while jogging on our tracks. The tragedy of it all is that death will come in instalments.
It won't be that funny once the process starts. Scientists will as usual have their two-cent worth of expert advice. There will be as many expert views as there are researchers who are willing to give their opinions.
World leaders will call for summits, conferences and seminars to address these pressing issues. Some people are of the opinion that we can stop worrying about nuclear bombs and uranium enrichment programmes because the badly abused environment will smack us right in the face.
As an individual I have taken so many good things in life for granted, starting with the blue sky that I mentioned in the beginning of this passage.
If all the so-called clever scientists in the world can find the moral courage to get together to plead their case in front of their governments, perhaps there might still be some hope for the people on earth. Otherwise, it is going to be a long road to hell.
I wish there was someone out there brave enough to call me an alarmist. It's probably a little too late. The signs are all out there for everybody to see. If we are blind, that's fine. We have other things to worry about but for the rest of the 6.5 billion on earth, it's not going to be rock and roll.
This line: "Life is not what it used to be" is going to be heard more often now. I wish I have more reassuring words for the younger generation but the only thing I can say to them right now is "sorry, the adults have really fouled things up this time."
Life is no longer going to be a bed of roses because the roses are dying. Environment neglect and land abuse are gateways to touching base with death. I guess we have touched that once too often. Now, Death is knocking at our door, regardless where we are residing on earth.
It's no longer funny. Notice, I am not laughing anymore.

The road to personal happiness

This question has been asked countless times in the course of the history of mankind. The great, the powerful, the ignorant and the ordinary have asked for the roadmap to happiness.
Some have been given the answer. Some have found the answer themselves. But as always, the answer is never outside their heart and mind.
Happiness is a decision. For example, if you are unhappy because you are poor then you must tell yourself that certain material possessions are necessary but they are not essential to the creation of happiness.
Happiness is also a state of mind. You can be roasting in the middle of a desert in the middle of Africa but if you decide to be happy amid the miserable surroundings, you can be so.
It is a crazy thought but it's true. For example, your wife leaves you for another man, your children hate you, you have just been sacked, your house is burned down and you have no more friends left.
You have every reason in the world to cry and wallow in self-pity but if you so wish, you can just walk up to the mirror or just stare into the blue beyond and tell yourself that despite all that has happened to you, you WILL be happy because you are a child of God and being a child of God, everything works in your favour eventually.
Again, this may seem impossible but are you wise enough to see that everything in this life is an illusion. Consider the possibility that if tomorrow, half of the world is wiped out by a series of unnatural disasters, those victims won't have anything to worry about anymore.
As long as you have breath in your body, you can be happy. Happiness, as I have said, is your right. Tell yourself the next time when everything is working against you that you will be happy regardless of the circumstances.
Believe it or not, people are unhappy because they have decided that they have earned the right to be unhappy. They want to be unhappy and they will themselves to be sad.
The path to everlasting happiness is to know that everything and anything that happens on earth and to you, are divinely engineered for your eternal happiness. It sounds idiotic, I know but it's true.
Once you understand the concept al All There Is, you have nothing to fear. You need not marry the most beautiful person in the world. You need not be a billionaire nor do you have to rule a country to find that elusive state of mind called happiness.
You can be happy whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you will be. It is simply a decision based on the divine understanding withe God that you are part of him and no matter what happens, happiness is built into your life.

The world tottering on the precipice of horror

I was having my breakfast this morning when I saw the headline flashed across the TV screen.
North Korea has practically spit in the face of the United Nations Security Council. It was a 15-0 vote for sanctions against North Korea. However, the Communist nation has taken the vote as an indication that it could be pushed into war footing.
Barring against all unforeseen circumstances, we the non-politicians can only expect the North Korea-against-the-world situation to get progressively worse.
For a long time now, Pyongyang has been simmering with irrational belligerance against other developed countries.
Japan has raised its alert level. So has South Korea. It is not a pleasant situation. Nobody in Asia desires to see the situation deteriorate beyond the point of no-return.
Sometimes, situations like what is going on beyond the 38th Parallel cannot be accurately assessed or predicted. But what is guaranteed at this point is that the art of brinkmanship has been played many times before in the past.
This time however, nobody is prepared to lose. The world can actually do with one less high conflict level situation.
We won't go into an unnecessary debate about why North Korea is behaving as it is doing right now. Perhaps its condition could be attributed in part to the new Secretary-General of the UN, South Korea's Foreign Minister Ban Ki-Moon. Stranger things have happened before.
It is my wish and hope the peace and sanity will prevail before long. I am getting a little tired from worrying about hurricanes, typhoons, regional haze, and then have to worry some more about conflagration somewhere in the Pacific region.
Some of us still have horrendous memories of what happened during the Korean War of the early 50s. It wasn't a pleasant situation then. It certainly won't be any less painful if the unthinkable happens again.
You would have thought that after half a century, leaders of the then participating countries would have learnt a couple of valuable lessons. I hope the world does not have to be taught another painful and bitter lesson in order for other members of the human race to progress admirably in the 21st century.
With Middle East on the boil, and now North Korea furiously engaging in some sabre-rattling act, it is a bit difficult to get a good night's sleep. I know that once a big conflict begins, the political, socio-economical repercussions will ripple across the world, much like a tsunami that we all not want to experience.
Will mankind be able to save itself again as it did, many times in the past? We all pray that it can and it will.

Joy is having a good lunch

This is an inane subject of innocuous proportions. Having a good lunch? Plenty of us do. We eat and then we are back at work and we quickly forget what we have just eaten.
Well I just had a great lunch. What made it even more memorable was the fact that I shared a table with two other colleagues and we partook in a great lunch conversation.
Some of the nicest things that happen to us on a daily basis is lunch and how we go through it. We think eating is compulsory in maintaining life. Well, it's true to a small extent. Man can actually survive for quite a long spell without eating.
But since we belong to that lucky group of people who get to eat three square meals a day, we should be slightly thankful that we can afford to eat and have meals to eat several times a day on a daily basis.
I have had hundreds of thousands of lunches in my lifetime. I have had many forgettable lunches but as time passes by, I realise that I have taken a lot of important things for granted.
No longer so. These days, I anticipated each meal with some happiness and joy. Am I crazy? Absolutely not. Eating is a blessing. Just think of all those who want to eat, and eat joyously but can't. It could be due to ill health, it could be due to a lack of good teeth, and it could also be due to a constant lack of appetite.
Thus, having a good lunch is one of those blessings that come upon many of us without prior notice, and it often taken for granted by the best of us for many a good year.
Hence, I would like to conclude by announcing to all and sundry that you all must no longer look upon lunches as some kind of a chore but as a privilege and a gift from heaven.
Just imagine the scenario where you could no longer have lunches or can't afford to have one regulary. Surely, that must be one of life's greatest punishments if I ever hear one.
Enjoy your lunch and I mean it!

Forgive, Forget and Move on

There's a saying that goes: Forgive and forget, life's too short. Actually, that's one of the most practical piece of advice I have ever come across.
Most of us don't really think about that until we find a very good reason to dislike a particular person. It gets worse when our hostility is amply justified. Can you imagine forgiving someone whom you dislike intensely, and then in the same breath, proclaim that you will not forget that incident.
A philosophy of that kind is simply unacceptable. To forgive means to forget as well. When you say that you will forgive but will not forget, you are in actual act, saying that you will get married but will also continue to lead the life of a single person.
Through personal experience, I have found out that forgive, forget and move on is the best antidote to all painful experiences that sometimes come unexpectedly. I know of a couple of people who can't forgive, never forget and vow not to move on until the other chap drops dead.
It is a monumental waste of energy and time. If that person whom you dislike intensely does not know that you have such strong feelings towards him or her, then it doesn't affect him. Only you have that hostility all bottled in your frail body.
The body cannot contain too much of this kind of strong feeling because too much of aggression, hostility and frustration will be manifested in illnesses and transformed into all kinds of unhealthy stress-related abnormalies.
One of the most powerful factors for sectarian conflicts in many parts of the world is this unusual propensity to destroy another community, simply for the sake of killing someone.
The consequence of taking another person's life is to trigger a chain of events that will lead to more destruction. The more the feeling is allowed expression through murderous means, the more it will gather momentum.
So if you caught in this tragic cycle of runaway emotions, you must immediately break the momentum by forgiving, forgetting and moving on. I know it is very difficult but it sure beats getting yourself killed as well as trying to kill others.
All the great religious teachers who have come before us eons ago have promulgated the philosophy of loving your neighbour and doing good unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
The teaching is rather simple but humans have this sad inclination of learning simple things.
If you think you have a long life ahead of you, and you can stop hating after 50 years of existence on earth, you may be in for a deep shock. The reason is because your life may come to an abrupt end at 40 years.
Not quite the 50 years that you have expected. There's no prize for wanting to hate others until they retire in the cemetery. You will join them there too, soon enough.
The idea is to make your passage on earth as smooth as silk. Why indulge in all these meaningless and physically exhausting feelings that will bring you no good at all.
Don't wait till you are at death's door before you suddenly realise that all those bad feelings which have been kept under lock and key in your heart and mind have been a terrible waste of time all those decades.
Think about it!!

How to Write a Book Without Really Trying

RECENTLY, I suddenly discovered the easiest way to getting my first book published is to NOT think about it too seriously. The idea is to just go out there and write something - anything!
Once your mental wheels begin to grind, there is a sense of motion. Who cares what is being written. Write anything that you fancy. Write something that has caught your interest.
Do you know that there are literally millions of people out there who are thinking of writing their first novel? Only a handful of them actually get down to doing it. Of course the number of successful ones can be numbered in single digits but the important thing is are you one of them?
I have been blogging for God knows how long. There's no monetary reward in doing it other than having the satisfaction of penning my thoughts in mostly random fashion.
My intention is to galvanise my writing apparatus. Writing is like swimming or any activity that may be deemed important to an individual. If you want to be good at poker, you play everyday or practise playing everyday, much like tennis, golf or baseball.
If you practise long enough and hard enough, one day you will be better than average.
Same goes for writing and publishing a book. Many people harbour the wrong intention of trying to impress other people, or worse their book publisher. Nobody wants to be reminded of your ego.
Do you have a story to tell? Even if it is a simple tale but it is well told, it will be well received.
Look at Mark Twain or perhaps further down the road, Ernest Hemingway. Both men wrote simple and yet powerful stories. They didn't bombast their way to success. They just told a good story in the simplest way they knew how.
When a story is well told, in a way that captures the imagination of the reader and holds it there for long minutes, you may just have a winner there. Some of the most successful writers on this planet are not the most intelligent people around. They are just some of the most passionate writers you have come across.
If you ever ask God for one writing gift - ask for the great, insatiable passion to tell a great tale in the grandest manner possible. And you will have publishers breaking down your door to get to you.
Yes, you can begin by blogging. So what if nobody cares a hoot as to what you have to say. You care, that's the most important thing. Once you start writing, don't stop. Just go on and on. Keep lighting that flame. Keep it alive, fuel it, fan it and never let it simmer down to become ashes.
Life is too short and too important to left go of your kite of ambition. Let it fly, let it soar. I recall once reading these inspiring words - A kite flies higher against the winds of adversity!"
Let then this be your credo. If you are an aspiring writer like me, write and throw caution to the wind.
One day when you look back you will be surprised what you will discover. You will be glad to realise that you have trudged many a mile down the road to your first published work.
You will realise that it all began with a simple entry in an ordinary blog. Champions are not born overnight, nor great writers created by a single novel. These are the unnamed people, strangers in fact, who continue to work and toil long after the sun has set and the ordinary blokes have returned to their families.
These super achievers continue to produce, create and invent new things, new works and write great lines so that the many others who follow after them will one day be inspired by the lines they have left behind.
Perhaps you would like to be among such people. Never give up. Don't be discourage. Never let the small people get to you. You are not one of those little people. You are born for great things. You are special. If you not born, then you probably don't need to hear these words.
But you are here. You exist, therefore you are. You are one of God's people. You are indeed entitled to greatness just like all the other great people who have populated the earth before your time.
Remember that always, up till the day you call it a day on earth.

Better Than Ever

Almost every morning when I step into the office, I inadvertently bump into someone or somebody who will ask "hello, how are you?" My reply, standard and sincere is "better than ever".

If that sounds a bit corny, it's because very few people actually say that and mean it. Most of the time, they will say "could be better" or "one day at a time."
I use to say "one day at a time, brother." But I no longer say that. These days, I am more upbeat. One day, I woke up and realised that life can be as good as it gets, if you allow it to be.
Too many people are cautiously optimistic or pessimistic for no reason. Why should we be sad and gloomy. We are not dead. We are not sick. And we are living a good life. The fact that we are not recuperating in a hospital somewhere shows that fate has been kind to us.

I have been working for almost 30 years. There have been good years and there have been sad years. In all those years, I have never been really down. Yes, there were a few instances when I might have commented "it could have been better."
I no longer indulge in that kind of thinking. There are too many people beating me to the door of gloom. Simply put, I am tired of being sad, gloomy and angry. Why waste time on useless emotions?
When you can eat, sleep and walk around unaided, it should be considered a blessing. The trouble with humans is that we are always envying others. We envy Donald Trump. We are slightly jealous of Hugh Hefner and all his Bunny girls. We are unhappy that we are not born with Brad Pitt looks.
Why are we always looking over our neighbour's fences? Aren't we all satisfied with our own things, or physical attributes?
Happiness is a state of mind. It is actually a decision. At this very minute, when you tell yourself, "I am happy" - then you will be. Peace of mind is also reflective of one's own soul.
A life that has 80 years in it may not be such a great life. Chronologically, it is just an accumulation of years. Some people live only 30 years but what a life they had led.
Life must not be sipped but gulped down with great gusto. Life is to be lived to the fullest. A man has not lived to his fullest potential unless he has tried his darnest to be the greatest version of the grandest vision of himself.
What does it profit a man if he makes 10 billion dollars and sits alone in his own mansion wondering if he could go out without telling one of his 20 bodyguards.
What kind of life is it if a man has to walk with 10 bodyguards keeping a close watch on his physical form and his family as well.
Very often, I comment to my friends that if I have to live the life of a recluse because of my enormous wealth, then I don't want it. Freedom is a privilege. Most of us throw that away and opt for wealth.
If a man cannot live free then all the money is the world is meaningless.
Everything that happens to us is of our own making. I wasn't convinced of this until the day I decided that I shall always be "stronger, faster, tougher, kinder and gentler" everyday in everyway.
Never, never, never let anybody get you down. Happiness is your right. Make up your mind to be kind, to be peaceful in every way, be at peace with everybody, not to be impressed by our own ego, and instead of finding love, give it, show it, and bring it to others. Then watch the amazing process of your own life transforming right before your eyes.
Be happy, brothers and sisters. You and I will not live forever but we can choose to be happy all the time, every minute of every hour of everyday for the rest of our lives. Now, isn't that wonderful?

A long, long time ago, in a place where I once roamed....

Actually, I am talking about my growing up years, if you are wondering about my heading for this topic.
All of us have our own childhood experiences. Some of you may wish that the memories be best buried. Not me, though. I had a whale of a time when I was young. My childhood friends were a motley crew of youngsters like me who came from varied backgrounds.
There was one Indian boy by the name of Peter who took me fishing at a nearby river. It was actually located in some rarely visited part of our terrain. A bit wild, plenty of leeches and a fast-flowing river.
Now that I think of it, it was a bit dangerous for a young chap like me who could drown faster than I could swim. But nevertheless I had some fond memories of seeing a guy who caught fish by planting short stakes with a short line and a hook with a worm attached to it at the edges of the river.
The procedure was to check out the numerous stakes at the various points of the river the next day. There was a good chance that his hard work had produced a fish or two. It was a bit primitive (method) but at that age then, I thought it was certainly one of the most exciting things I had come across.
Then there were the Malay kids who taught me how to make glassed string by smashing blown-out bulbs into powder form. We misec the powdered glass with boiled glue in an used tin can and later run the big coil of string through the concoction.
The idea was to have this slightly stiffened ball of string that would "deadly" in the battle of kites. Even back then, when the windy season came, children my age gathered at the nearest field to fly our kites.
The unwritten rule was to challenge other kids' kites high in the sky. Those who were unfortunate enough to lose their kites in the air due to the "sharper" string (maybe ours) would have to give up their kites.
The other low-tech activity was to collect spiders from faraway environs. At that time, "fighting spiders" was a favourite hobby among semi-rural children. There was a particular species of spider that fights another one of its kind on sight.
We used to fan out into the furthest parts of the neighbourhood to search for these prized specimens. Occasionally, we wandered off further than we should but in the end, we come home, heavily tanned but none the worse for wear, other than being slightly tired but exhilarated for bagging a couple of "great spiders.
We kept our spiders in metal cigarette boxes and fed the spiders with houseflies. I don't see this kind of activity among children of the present generation. What a pity. They would have a great time.
Growing up also meant having a wild time with our imaginations. There was always the popular subject of ghosts. Children all over the world love what they cannot understand and fear what they cannot see.
As adults, I have found out, the rules have not changed since those early years. However, I recall that the older children loved making our hair stand on end by telling us exaggerated tales of ghostly sightings.
The fact that we told these stories late at night only added to the excitement of the occasion. Hearing ghost stories was one of our favourite and most feared pastimes. Imagine a young child whose strongest asset was an unbridled imagination of borderless proportions.
Now visualise the surroundings: wind blowing gently, perhaps an owl hooting at a faraway distance, shadows dancing on walls and rooftops of houses, insects' sounds in the bushes, and a bunch of kids doing what they did best, that is, trying to frighten one another to death.
It was a wild, scary pastime. We loved it. We would not want to repeat it every night but it was fun while it lasted.
Now on looking back, I miss those years. Those experiences didn't warp our personalities. We grew up more or less normal. We matured a fair bit along the way and we now feel sorry for our own children for not sharing the kind of games we used to play.
The world has changed so much while I was growing up.

My heart bleeds for the holy land

IT HAS long been the sore point for all those who value their lives and staying in countries like Egypt, Jordan to Syria and Iran for ages. The heart of all that is holy should be the point of contention for people whose ancestors who shared land stretching from ancient Judea down the river of Babylon.
Even as I write these words, I wonder what's really the point of fighting over plots of dirt. I am sorry if I have trivialised this issue of territory but there's really no way to put it in simplistic terms.
Just think of it, two thousand years ago when that man from Nazareth walked the streets of Jerusalem and preached the urgency of love for our neighbour, a lot of people believed in the wisdom of his words.
For a while, the numbers of people practising what he had preached were heartening. His principles of a life-worthing-living spread across the continents and over the millennia.
But now, two thousand years have gone by. Millions had died in the march of time but lessons from the past have been forgotten. Jews and Arabs, people of flesh and blood, are fighting with each other over land that they will eventually be buried under.
I ask you what does it profit a man if all he gains is just dirt that will eventually be his resting ground? Nobody, I mean, nobody is going to take with him any of the land he so vehemently fights for and over.
The Jews or Israelis have called their present nation their home since the time Moses led them out of Egypt. The Jews have a very long and troubled history. Their descendants have scattered all over West Asia and the European continent for ages. The word "diaspora" has an exclusive reference to the dispersed descendants of the 12 tribes of Israel.
It is a fascinating story of how a "chosen race" has gone to the ends of the world, struggled and later returned to their beloved homeland. It took them 2,000 years. Those of us who have left our original homelands understand only too well the feelings of the Jews.
Then on the other hand are the other communities who have occupied the Middle East for eons. They too have as much right to be there. The question we ask ourselves is who has more right to be there.
The answer is always none has as much right as the other, for no one created that land. It was there before man first planted his feet on earth. What then is the answer? Actually, in this case, it is the question of what lessons are there to be learnt from this contentious issue?
When mankind finally learns how to answer the question correctly, then he finally deserves the peace he so desperately craves. Seek the answer in the deeper regions of your heart. Know that in the end, our life is limited in its length. In eternity, a lifetime of 70 years or even 120 years is but a blink of an eye.
What do you do with your life is more important than how many years you have spent on earth? People tend to equate longevity with good fortune. How wrong most of us are.
If a man lives for 33 years, like Jesus did, and the fruits of his labour are enjoyed by generations thereafter forever, then his life has got more meaning than a life span of 500 years.
In the holy land now, the battle rages on for pieces of land that is subjected to the hot desert sun for untold ages. The word holy may no longer be applicable to territory that has seen so much battles and experienced so much sorrow.
If Middle East wants the peace it seeks, the people who are fighting each other now must recognise the fact that bullets and missiles can solve nothing. These weapons of destruction can only spark off more incidents of woe and suffering.
Are we courageous enough to see the face of our brother in a stranger? Are we wise enough to embrace our sworn enemy, knowing full well that an embrace could lead to our death? Fear is our enemy.
Fear then is our greatest foe. We fear that we will lose all if we trust too much and share all that we have. It may be a cliche but we must conquer fear and invite back love into our lives. Without that, we will have nothing but fear and fear leads to hatred and hatred leads to hostility.
From then on, it is but a short path to war and from war, the gates of hell will be opened to all who partake in it.
Sometime and somewhere along the journey of life, man whether he be Jew or Arab must realise that all his beliefs will come to nought if peace and happiness will not be part of his rewards before his life ends.
For a better part of 2,000 years, the people who had occupied and are still occupying what was once called the holy land had bickered and quarrelled over the fleeting and the intangible.
The God that they pray to must be saddened by the ways of these people. We shall pray for the eternal wisdom that must surely be ours before we know everlasting peace.
Amen to you, my brothers and sisters.

Coming to terms with Today

All of us without exception think of life in terms of tomorrow. If there's even one among you out there who says 'no' then you are not being true to yourself.
Perhaps you have understand the concept of Now and Today. If you have, then you will know what I am talking about. Without going into the philosophical arguments of what constitutes 'tomorrow', let me just say that if you are thinking of the good that is going to come out of tomorrow, then I will tell you to just forget it.
Tomorrow metaphorically never comes. When tomorrow comes, it will identify itself as Today. Yesterday just waves at you from a distance. In fact, it is like greeting a familiar face from across the river.
Greeting Yesterday is like seeing somebody you know but the chances of shaking hands or hugging each other is nil. That's Yesterday for you. So what is the best among the three: Yesterday, Today or Tomorrow?
Naturally, it is Today. Today, you can do anything you like and you can see the immediate results. If you were to buy somebody lunch today, you will hear the verbal expression of gratitude, or you will receive the words "Thank you very much."
Today basically is all you have. You don't have Yesterday because it has left the building. You can't get hold of tomorrow because it hasn't shown up. What's the use of pining for something that may or may not turn up?
Forget about Yesterday. You don't possess it. At best, you can learn from the past. At its worst, you are chasing after a dream. It's like trying to catch the mist.
Tomorrow is somebody else's dream. It doesn't really take shape. It holds the promise of Today when it comes. By the time, it appears before you, it would have transformed itself into Today.
So your best friend is actually Today. If you wish you could or would say something nice to your wife, children or parents, say it Today and be done with it.
Why wait till tomorrow. Before the day ends today, you could be diverted from your personal intention. Or worse, you could end up in sick bay. There goes your chance if that happens.
The opportunities of Today are only good enough for the day while it lasts. Now is all the time you have. You can feel it, you can revel in it and you can do anything and everything with it - only for Today.
Today, yes my friends, if only you realise that your best chances of success are embedded into Today's soil. If you plant a small seed of greatness in the ground of Today, tomorrow it will begin to grow. All that happens if you do it Today, not yesterday or tomorrow. Do it now, do it today and be happy with Today's deed.
Time is forever an illusion. It is made for our convenience and for planning our dreams. We really do not implement anything great or small tomorrow. We do all that Today.
For today is the day we take that first step. The journey of a million miles begins now, if you take the first step.
Many of us grow old wondering what we have done after seven or eight decades of living on earth. We reflect on the missed opportunities and the what-could-have-beens. Very few of us actually bask in the satisfaction of what have been achieved.
We can have that feeling, that kind of experience, if we stop wondering about it long enough to work our dreams.
Dreams will remain dreams forever if we don't wake up and do it. Once, many years ago, I came across this saying: "The best dream can only be achieved once you wake up!"
That is so true. People, human beings, are different from animals. A lot of animals survive by instinct. Man is the only member of the animal kingdom who has the luxury of dreaming. The secret that makes man great is that what we can dream, we can do. But we have to do it Today.
Today then is the key. It is the solution that leads to future successes. Once we implement our objectives today, we await tomorrow. When tomorrow shows up, we continue with our unfinished work today.
And so on it goes. We are constantly working - TODAY. We never work yesterday or we can't work tomorrow. It is today, today and forever today.
Once you understand the power of Today, you won't shed tears for Yesterday or harbour the ache of waiting for Tomorrow. For Today holds the master key to all the Time Vault.
Today is all you have. There's no other time. Make use of it before it slips away from you and is transformed into Yesterday. Yesterday and Tomorrow are distant cousins. They keep in touch but they never meet.
Today is your constant companion. It greets you every morning when you open your eyes. It follows you to work. It keeps you company in your loneliest moments. It joins in when you celebrate a major personal success. It is there for you. Frankly, you and Today are inseparable. You two are not twins. You two are one.
Realise that and you will never in want of anything for the rest of your natural life on earth.

Speaking from the heart

HOW many times have you wanted to say something heart-warming to somebody but at the last minute, decide to abort the mission? Many times, am I right?

Yes, I too have experienced that kind of emotional situation. Why do we postpone or cancel feel-good moments like that? My guess is that we feel we will become embarrassed or the other party may feel embarrassed, and consequently there may be a long silence of embarrassed feelings.

About 35 years ago, on the last day of my high school, I decided to throw all caution out to the wind. The story went back about a year before that. A friend whom I had come to respect and like very much, did something that I thought was too much for my ego, so I ended our friendship.

It went on for more than a year, until that last day of school when all of us would go separate ways. Technically, we had reached the end of the road. The road further travelled would be done without the company of classmates, because that was when we started to plan for university and beyond.

I really like this guy because we had lots of things in common, so on that day, something happened. It was as if an angel had whispered in my ear and said: "This is your last chance to repair the broken friendship. Shake hands and be done with it."

So after some careful consideration, I walked up to this classmate and said: "I know when we haven't been friends for some time now but I like to be friends again and let bygones be bygones."

The look on this classmate's face was worth a million bucks. His facial expression revealed that he was so relieved that I had said it first although that was what he had in mind all the time but lacked the courage to carry it through. And so a friendship was saved.

We are still great friends today even though we had gone separate ways and led separate lives.

This is what I am driving at. Sometimes, there come opportunities to say things direct from the heart. These are some of the most precious moments in life. You will never know how much it will mean to the other person and how those kind words of yours will change his or her life for the better.

My advice to all those who hesitate: DON'T. Say it and be done with it. Don't let 20 years pass you by and then meet again when you two are in the twilight of your lives and then realise how you have missed that golden opportunity.

Yesterday, I gave my daughter the same advice when she asked me if she should buy her friend who's going overseas to study, a present. I told her that if she cannot afford to buy a gift for this friend, then thank her verbally for all those nice things her friend had done for her.

I said: "There are many times in your life when kind and sincere words are worth more than gold. These are treasured for a lifetime. More than that present which you have spent on. Tangible gifts are soon forgotten but not gifts from the heart, because these are stored in the heart and they will remain fresh forevermore."

Remembering my father on Father's Day

My father died about nine years ago. He had led an interesting life, even though there were hard times for him as well as for us, his children. However, God has always been with us, and we survived and became stronger.

Now that I too am a father, I recall what all fathers may sometimes care to remember, that my children, our children, will walk down the same path all fathers will walk down.

It is not a difficult road if you don't make such a big deal out of it. It is easiest to travel when your heart is full of joy and you perform your fatherly duties out of love more than anything else.

I have been a father for about 25 years. It wasn't really difficult, I can now admit. In fact, it has been rather pleasant because I never consider it a chore. I took it in stride.

All of us men will one day be a father with the exception of a few who choose not to be fathers themselves. But it is a marvellous role - to be a father. Your children will make it all worthwhile.

There's nothing like having your offsprings remembering you in their own special ways. Life is like that. You teach them and at the same time you learn from them. One of the secrets of wonderful living,you learn as you teach.

There is no exception. Living and learning is a dual highway. It transcends all ages and make exceptions for none.

Today's Father's Day will be celebrated in a way by all fathers who have brought up their children to be better than themselves. It is a hope that I harbour, that my children will live their own lives beautifully and magnificently.

If I can help them to move faster along that road, so much the better. If not, may other experiences help to shape their character for the better. Being a man and then a father is a privilege. It took me a long time to realise that.

Now that I understand its message, the children become special to me, just as I am precious to them.

A Happy Father's Day to all fathers who are reading this.

Losing track of time

According to my el-cheapo but reliable watch, it is now 3.50pm. I believe it is fast by one or two minutes but it's all right, I can live with that.
I have been in the office since 10am. The hours have flown swiftly past without me realising too much of the "lost" time. Anyway, life slips by you pretty quickly if you are busy doing your daily chores.
My daily routine comprises running around having tea breaks, lunch and chit-chat sessions with office colleagues. If I have the time, I will sit down and do some work for the organisation. Kidding!
Anyway, I told someone the other day that I was slightly surprised that it was June already. I could still recall Christmas celebrations with great clarity. Has it been six months since? Where has it all gone to?
As I have always maintained, Time is just a figment of man's imagination. Time was originally created to bring some semblance of order to man's life. Time or the watch or clock was invented and designed so that a person's life and work can be organised in the most intelligent manner conceivable.
There is such a thing as "losing track of time". Such a situation arises when an individual is too busy doing something else. It means that you are so engrossed in performing the "now" activities that you completely forgot to look at your watch and thus forgotten you are operating in your own time zone.
A person who knows about the value of time and also knows how to purposely "lose" time is the captain of his own fate. In other words, time has got no hold on you because you choose whether to recognise its importance or not take note of it to your own advantage.
Time, at the end of the day, can be an ally or a foe. It depends on how you use it. Having said all that, I have to admit I love wearing watches. It just helps me to organise my tasks which I set for myself throughout the day. Then, on the other hand, I also ignore my watch when the occasion calls for it.
There is really no point being "tied to time" when losing track of it will be to your greatest advantage.
Remember where all of us will end up eventually, time does not reign. So now you understand its overstated significance.

Worrying about when it's going to get you

RIGHT now I am experiencing something that is very common among people. Ordinary folks like you and I. All of us are worried about something at some stage in our lives.

A few of us practically excel in the art of worrying. We are all creatures of habit and emotions. We feel like we are going to die, or will have this unshakeable forboding sensation of impending doom.

Most of time, this nagging feeling doesn't seem to want to leave us. We think long and gloomily about it just before we go to sleep. We allow it to plague our mind the whole day and the very next morning we jump onto this bandwagon of detestable load called Worries.

I was like that once until I got so mad with myself that I almost shouted "to hell with it all! Bring it on!" That doesn't to be the permanent solution. What happened was I delved into a lot of those books that discuss life hereafter.

I suppose my quest was so persisting that soon enough the right answers begin to flow in like the Missippi River waters. The light at the end of the tunnel became to be like the flood lights in a football stadium.

When the glare of the light shone on the darkened corners of my mind, all the fears taht were hiding there begin to evaporate. Of course, I still harbour a bit of worry here and there but that creature named Worry which was Godzilla-size in the past has become a little pygmy. It no longer poses any threat to me.

Don't let worry worry you too much. In a way, worry serves a little purpose but if you pamper it too much, it climbs on your head, clutches your heart and squeezes your stomach. Consequently, you can't eat, you have a headache and you feel as if your heart is going to explode.

If you but understand that all of us are creatures of spirit, without exception, then you will have the everlasting assurance that in the end, all will be well. Nothing bad can happen to you in the long run. It is simply impossible.

Life on earth is meant to be one huge adventure. Why waste time worrying about things you cannot change. Be happy for all those little unexpected occurrences that can only make your life that much more exciting.

Worry?! Bah, let it pass you in the daytime as well as in the night time like a gust of wind that slips past your body and vanishes into thin air. You, my friend, are a spirit that has been bestowed with the finest of virtues to make this life of yours right now the happiest and most exciting at any time.

Believe that you are going to have a great time on earth and you will.

What's up with the weather?

Cyclone heading towards Hong Kong and south China. Volcano erupting in Java, Indonesia. Floods in European cities. Tornadoes and Hurricanes in North America. Drought in North Korea. Dramatic ice reduction at the polar caps.

If I take these phenomena, which I do, I would conclude that the whole world is in for one hell of a time. Read the signs, as it is always said. Well, now we better look at the weather conditions.

A relative who just returned from vacation in Brisbane, and Sydney, Australia told me that it was sunny one day and next day wintry conditions in the cities. Bizarre was the word she used.

Not recently, the river Danude overflowed its banks and caused massive floodings in several European countries. It was the worst in more than half a century. In December 2004, tsunami affected about 12 nations in the Asian region. By the time, the bodies were found and later buried, the death toll surpassed 300,000.

Volcanoes are suddenly active. Smog covers a large part of the Southeast Asian region. One word again, global-warming. Global warming is so serious that even Hollywood is starting to make movies about it. For example, Day After Tomorrow.

According to some scientists, the scenario in that movie can become reality should Mother Nature loses her temper. There is startling evidence that the polar caps are melting at a dramatic rate. If this continues, we really do have to shift further inland all over the world.

Thunderstorms are beginning to be more violent. Hailstones are no longer the subject of geography books. In America, hailstones caused some serious damage recently. CNN showed footages of hailstones as big as golf balls. Car windscreens were smashed and vehicles damaged by those hailstones.

The explanation for all these drastic atmospheric changes is found in the way the earth is being treated. Earth is afterall a living organism and anything that is a life form when subjected to averse conditions will switch to its self-preservation mode, as it is probably doing now.

Meanwhile, the latest AFP reports more than 180,000 people have been evacuated from the coastal areas of Guangdong province in the wake of Typhoon Chanchu which is heading its way.
On the same day (May 17, 2006), an earthquake measuring 6.4 shook the Indonesian island of Nias. Nias is also one of the islands that was devastated by the 2004 tsunami. On the island of Java, volcano Mt Merapi continues to spew poisonous gas and lava, as Code Red has been announced a couple of days ago.
Meanwhile, three northeastern states of America have declared a state of emergency as rains have hammered Massachussetts, New Hampshire and Maine for days, triggering floods.
Thousands in these States have been evacuated and hundreds of schools closed. Now as dark clouds loom over the horizon from East to West, fires and floods ravage the lands that humans have called home.

It has long past becoming a laughing issue. The question is: how serious are we in tackling these phenomena? Or, are we just waiting for the authorities to perform some miracles.

Frankly, we are just plain running out of time.

Here come the terrible twins - Success and Failure

There have been times and there will be times ahead when you will encounter either of these two "brothers" called Success and Failure.

I have met them constantly in my regular travels along the journey of life. Success is a much more congenial companion because he's always someone you like as a walking companion. Success makes you laugh, makes you happy and makes you feel like a million bucks.

Failure on the other hand is a morose chap who's constantly moaning and groaning about you, and why you never think of him at all. In a way, Failure is right. We should think more about him because his presence will make us wiser people.

Failure has got important lessons for us all but we almost never appreciate his presence. We dislike his body odour. We resent his uninvited presence and his unexpected intrusion into our peaceful lives.

But we were to scrutinise this repulsive character named Failure, we will find out that this guy is actually trying to teach us some very valuable lessons in life. For one thing, Failure helps us to cultive empathy and sympathy for others who also have come across Failure.

Failure in his sullen ways enlightens us about his twin brother Success. He makes us more appreciative of Success and not take for granted the often limited time, Success spends with us.

It is from Failure that we learn that there are other ways to climb a steep hill, or to develop a skill, or even to be a better person.

Success and Failure are a pair of twins who seldom meet because they are so busy travelling around the world and across all strata of society quietly expounding knowledge and secrets that a lot of people need to learn.

We welcome Success but shun Failure. Those among us who are wise make friends with these twins because they know that all are worth knowing. Success helps us to further strengthen our positions. In other words, make us work harder so that we may not his friendship.

Failure by making us fear him, or sometimes run away from him, indirectly teaches us that into every dark corner we hide ourselves, we will eventually have to come out and face reality, the twins' cousin.

Failure looks at us in the eye but we do not see the knowledge he wants to impart. We see but our own fear reflected in Failure's eyes. Failure sincerely wants us to hold his hand, thereby know that he too is like us. Unless we dare to befriend him, we will never be able to fully appreciate the beautiful land that he has roamed since time immemorial.

The great teachers among us know these twins very well. They have been in their company for eons and realise that all is an illusion. They are but lesson couched in human form to help us understand, learn and celebrate the joy of living.

So next time, you are visited upon by either of the twins who called themselves Success and Failure, be sure to welcome them in your company and say thank you for coming. Put your hands around their shoulders and call them brother.

If you can do that and be not fearful or too glad, you will be given the key to everlasting happiness. It is a privilege that is seldom bestowed on citizens of the world except the few who would later become teachers.

Hobbies are what give your life that extra edge

I HAVE had hobbies since the time I learnt to walk. When I was in junior school, I used to rear Siamese fighting fish in bottles and stashed them under my bed. Why under the bed?

The reason was that darkness helped add colours to the fighting fish's scales. This I found out from friends who also reared Siamese fighting fish as a hobby. We used to keep these fish in individual bottles because they would set upon each other if two of them were to find themselves in the same bottle.

The only time when fighting fish were put together in the same bottle was when a wager was on. Since we were mere kids who had practically no money in our pockets, we dispensed with that thought.

Later on in life, I reared fighting spiders. My friends and I used to trudged along little explored paths in secondary forest, scrounging for certain vegetation where spiders flourished.

One or two of us would have razor blades in our pockets. When we sighted a spider, the species which we would recognised, we would immediately cupped that particular section where the spider was and a friend would help slice the leaves. Then we took the "trapped" section out in the open and gently nudged the spider into the boxes which we had in our pockets.

The idea was to bring them out in the open and challenge our friend's "fighter king" to a match. This hobby went on for years, until I practically grew out of it. We used to feed the spiders with dead houseflies. But little did we know that when a spider had eatern, it would take days for it to recover because it would become too bloated and sluggish to engage another spider in a battle.

Next was catching birds. Not so much catching them but shooting them with a catapult. We used to take long walks in other people's back lanes and perked our ears keenly to hear the chirp of a distant bird on a tree.

My interest in this particular bloody sport when I actually shot and killed a sparrow. The sight of the dead bird and the wanton killing caused so much distress in me that I gave up shooting with catapults almost immediately.

One of the longest hobbies, I ever had and have is collecting First Day Covers. I started that hobby when I was about 17 years old. Today almost 30 years later, I am still at it. It is a great hobby of great learning proportions.

Every growing child should have a hobby of some kind. Be it reading, walking, or collecting theme cards, the hobby should be sustained for a number of years. Hobbies are great introductions to the world of knowledge and friendship.

It is through collecting First Day Covers that I established friendships with people I have not met overseas. It is through them that I managed to expand my collection of First Day Covers from other countries.

I also collect books. In my early years, I didn't have the financial means to acquire and sustain such a hobby, but today, decades later when the subject of money is no longer an issue, I have been able to expand on the hobby.

Reading, writing and collecting antiquarian books have given me some of the most pleasure times in my life. Its value cannot be gauged. It is the silent satisfaction. The knowledge that I have benefited in such a pervading way that gives me a great sense of worth.

Life should not be just about walking a think straight line but creating paths for others to walk as well. It is when we meet strangers, that we can become friends and after we have become friends, we will enrich each other's lives.

Hobby is a marvellous vehicle for making great journeys in this life of ours. We need travel on this well trodden path constantly and with great diligence. It is only when we do so that we can become teachers and students at the same time.

Hobbies do not need great investment. The most precious investment that we can make on a hobby is our time and a mental commitment to develop that hobby. A man without hobby is a dull man. A man who has hobbies brings that extra spark to his life and that extra lift to his walk.

Little children are reminders of heaven's innocence

I guess for most of us childhood has receded so far back into our memory banks that it will be an almost impossible task to remember all that we should remember.

That is why there are always children criss-crossing our paths. They are there to remind us that only with a child-like temperament can we hope to regain some of our precious bearings which we have abandoned as soon as we entered adulthood.

Some people are lucky. They almost never lose their innocent traits. They may be 80 and look their age but when they talk to you, they have the zest and wide-eyed innocence of a six-year-old. No, they have not entered the domain of senility.

Nowadays whenever, I look into a child's eyes, I remember myself. I recall vividly all the fun and laughter that are part and parcel of growing up. Nothing is difficult when you are young. Problems were just "happenings". It's only when we "grow up", we begin to conform to the rules laid down by our senior peers.

Why should that be so? Why can't we treat life like it was when we were young. We can stare at so-called woes and laugh.

Notice how children will cry woefully and then be laughing the very next minute. That's the wonderful thing about being a chld. First you cry because you think your world has ended, then you laught before you know everything will be all right.

I like children, most of them anyway. They tend to give you that shy, sneaking smile and tend to peek at you from behind the sofa or behind their mother's legs. Every child thinks the whole world evolves around him, and he's right, too, in a way.

That early innocence can later mutate and transformed into a not-so-innocent attitude like "the whole world owes me a living".

When you are a child, a lot of people will forgive you for your misdemeaners. But don't try that again when you are a young adult.

I once told an expectant mother-to-be that children are our second chance at regaining the innocence of our childhood. Children tells us that it's all right to cry, to laugh and to love all over again even if we are rejected and spurned. There's no place in a child's heart for grudges.

If we can forgive and love like a child, then there's salvation for us yet. In the meantime, take time out to be a child. Observe how a child sleeps, and toss around in his cot. The baby does it most charmingly and innocently. He bawls when he wants to, and laughs aloud infectiously without any forethought or motive.

That's why he's such a child. That's how we must be too if we want to re-enter the kingdom of heaven.

What's the best time of the day for you?

THE first thing I do early in the morning, around 7.30, when I wake up is to walk reluctantly down from upstairs to the living room below. First, have to wake up the body.

My mind is already up and running. It's just by body that is slow in responding to the dictates of the almighty brain. The sun is on the ascent. Its rays peep through the slightly opened curtains.

I can't really sleep too late because the brightness that comes with the awakening sky lights up my entire room. As it is with us homo sapiens, our biology cannot be denied. Once light filters through closed eyelids, the whole living form begins to move even though the body is still.

It is as if somebody has switched on all the lights in the house. How does one sleep after that?!

For the next 35 minutes, I go into a series of body movements. It is what the ancient ones called qigong.

It has been created and innovated through the centuries to harness the cosmic energy that is prevalent in the air, the world and the galaxy. If I have gone too far in my description, someone stop me, please.

Anyway, within two hours, I am in the office, trying to smoothen all the spurts and starts in the office machinery. It is not that difficult. After so many years, it has become one huge routine. I can almost do it on automation.

Lunch follows rather quickly. A quick chat session with some office colleagues and mental sparring on innocuous subjects that will certainly not change our lives in any significant way.

The problem with an Asian lunch is the sleepiness that follows about an hour later. Doctors explain this biological reaction in our body as blood rushing to the stomach to digest the food, thus drawing away vital supply of oxygen from our brain. A half-oxygenated brain equals drowsiness. Thus, walking is recommended because it forces your blood to circulate more evenly.

Ever saw a movie where the guy tells his friend to keep walking and not fall asleep in the snow? Well, it's about the same except if you do fall asleep at your workplace in the office, you won't die.

By 6pm, it's time to call it a working day in the office and rush home, or rather join the thousands of others TRYING to get home amid heavily clogged streets.

Now the best part of my day begins. I take a bath, relax and literally put up my feet and let the hidden accumulated stresses of the day slip away from my body and mind.

What do I do? Switch on the TV, of course. If there are any jokes which I think would interest my family, I share them. Nothing like a good laugh to pump some much needed endorphin into the system. Scientists have discovered that a sense of humour is much more valuable than a cabinet full of medicine.

From the time, my feet touched the floor of my house till my head hits the pillow on my bed, those are the best houses for me. The time allows me to re-align my bearings, reflect upon personal projects that need my attention and dream about things that will make me and others happy.

It is a time that is my own and I treasure that immensely.

Something's going on in my life!

For a long time (about 30 years or so), I thought my life was dull, dull, dull. Then about 10 years ago, it suddenly hit me: you don't wait for things to happen, you actually have to go out and meet your destiny.
When people mention the word "destiny", they think it's something inevitable. It's some event or happening that cannot be avoided and there's nothing you can do about it.
Well, that has changed since I "met" destiny. I realised that destiny is when I go out without really planning and have a time of my life. Once, I was stuck in the house for months, doing nothing spectacular except waking up, eating, working and sleeping. All these were routine.
Then one day, I decided why not do something different, to break the monotony. So I got the whole family together and we shot off in the car to a coastal town. It wasn't a world class vacation resort but it certainly was different from my permanent neighbourhood.
It was actually the journey that turned out to be an eye-opener. Along the way to our destination, we bore witness to structures, ancient and modern and lifeforms, livestock and human, who live in habitats not common to us.
It was then, it dawned on me that all these years since the day I was born, I have been trudging along the path of other people had paved for me. If I am to become part of destiny, I have to chart my own path.
In other words, I have to hack my way through undergrowth (figuratively), and clear the bushes that stand in my way. In doing so, I leave a trail for others who are too timid to create their own destinies.
Why are they so many of us who are too ignorant to create control their own fates, thus make their own destiny and in doing so creating a future that fit their dreams and plans.
In the final analysis, it was so simple. If you really want, as I did and still do, I have to do something that I desire without fear or favour. Do I have to wait till the planets are in alignment before I act. No. A thousand times no. Everyman is his own chronicler. He writes his own history. He pens his own life lines. He walks down the avenue which he builds with his own hands and with his own effort and sweat.
Actually, it is not a daunting task. It is merely an assignment which is done freely, happily and with great determination.
That is what I mean by "something is going on in my life". I now know that nothing is beyond me. Nothing can be impossible, if only I desire it so. Life is full of infiite possibilities. It is like an exciting and unending chess game. One move determines the future of a thousand other future moves.
A change of heart will only open other possibilities. It is an exciting life. It is everybody's choice to make his or her life meaningful and filled with satisfactions and joy.
Do you want it now, or do you just want to think about it? Do it now because heaven is HERE, there is no other place. Heaven is is NOW, there is no other time.

How to win a girl's heart and not be labelled as a jerk!

Rule No. 1 - a girl is another person with feelings. Memorise that and recite it to yourself everyday!
Girls are the feminine gender, in case you have forgotten, like to meet a gentleman in every aspect. In other words, when she's about to leave the car, please open the door for her.
It's old fashioned, I know, but girls just love it. When she comes over to your table, please stand up. That's the old protocol. Another silly old-fashioned habit but it works. It also means you stand up every time, a woman comes over to your table. She doesn't have to stand up for you, though.
Remember her birthday, and don't buy something meaningless. Get her a rare stalk of flower, maybe black tulip. If you can't find that, 24 of those velvet red coloured roses will do just fine.
Also, don't forget Valentine's Day. If she doesn't reciprocate, please don't kill yourself. Otherwise, if she changes her mind about you, you won't be at the receiving end.
Show some manners if and when you meet her family. That means try to be a real gentleman about everything, even if it kills you. Once you have made all the good habits part of your persona, any girl would be proud to take you home to meet her mummy.
Please, don't go dutch when sharing meals. Sure, you are broke but you are not a tight-wad, are you? Even if all you could afford is one meal, make sure it's hers. Tell her you have just had a hearty meal. Lie, my friend, lie. Of course, she will find out sooner or later. That's why she may just fall in love with you.
Be kind to children and be sincere about it. Girls will grow up to be women one day and later on in life be mothers as well. They admire men who display affection for the little ones. Remember, one day, you too will have children of your own. If you can't love other people's children, how much more will you love your own.
Every girl who is normal in every way will notice that great quality in you.
By all means be religious. Go to church. It won't kill you to sit in God's house once a while. Prayer enriches your life and lightens all burdens. Girls prefer boys who are spiritually inclined than those guys who are inclined to drink the spirits!
Dress decently. That is not compulsory but it helps. As you know, every little thing helps. No girl wants to be with a cruffy guy for long. He may just attract fleas, or worse, lice.
Whatever you do, give her the first preference. That means, you reserve the best seat in the house for her. Give her the best portion of the sirloin steak and save the last dance for her.
Always have a sense of humour. If she can laugh with you, she can live with you later on. A girl is wary of any guy who is remorse, taciturn and constantly moody. If he's like that during a relationship, think how dangerous or boring he would be when the wedding bells have died down.
There are only so many years in a person's life. Don't wait too long to tell her your true feelings for her. To waste time not saying all the right things means letting the heavenly feelings get away from both of you.
After you tell her, you love her, or are falling in love with her, there can only be two results. One, she said she doesn't share the same feelings as you. Fine, at least you know the truth. Two, you may just get lucky and hear from her that she also loves you like mad.
Of course, there's a third possibility. She may just laugh. If that happens, again, don't drown your sorrows in a crate of Guinness.

The Carefree Days of Youthful Exuberance

IT seemed like only yesterday but I still remember quite vividly sleeping on the beach on an island together with two friends around the time we had finished our high school.
The days seemed constantly everlasting. We were on the threshold of adulthood. Still no responsibilities, no jobs, no girlfriends and hardly any worries. It was a wonderful time on earth.
A group of us, mainly school mates decided we would make a trip to this island called Pangkor. It is about 80 miles from our hometown. Pangkor island was an idyllic place. It is still a holiday resort after so many years.
I haven't been back to that island for more than 30 years. I heard from friends that it has developed beyond my recognition.
But on that day and night while I was there, it was like another planet. We dozed off on the sun-kissed, golden sands of Pangkor. At around midnight, we heard this awful noise. We opened our eyes and the waves of the high tide were lapping at our feet.
Needless to say, we headed for higher ground. Then at 4am when total darkness enveloped the place, the torrential rain began. The winds were howling and those of us who had earlier bragged that we wanted to be close to nature, sought shelter in the roofed canteen that was without walls. It had only long narrow benches and tables.
By then, I was very sleepy and tried to catch 40 winks on a narrow bench. For a fleeting moment, I dreamt of that soft, comfy mattress back home. But that was just for a moment. I was too young and reckless to care or to plan for the future, or even to think of the physical discomfort that came from living wild and free.
That was only one episode in my youthful days. I was also slightly addicted to that hobby called hitch-hiking. We who have little spare change in our pockets have resorted to using our thumbs to get free rides on the highway.
Yes, those were also the days when highway robberies were almost unheard of, like these more dangerous days. My father wasn't really worried about me. He too had his "living wild and free" days, so he understood my situation quite well.
Sometimes, I got lucky and didn't have to wait too long before a generous motorist stopped and took me to my destination. However, there were times when I stood for hours without a single soul casting a glance in my direction.
One thing I found out from those hiking days, the people who were most likely to stop and give me a lift were the truckers. For a long time, I wondered why only this particular type of individuals had any sympathy for us lonely hitch hikers. Then, one day I figured they were the ones who understood very well what it was like to be a lonely traveller on a very long highway. That was why they felt a kindred relationship with us young hikers.
From my numerous road trips, I learnt to understand the trucker's life and the kind of people who had made driving vehicles on the road for a living.
Youth also meant doing things on impulse like the time when I rode on my bicycle about 10 miles to a celebrated waterfall. The leader of the pack was a seminarian by the name of Charles. He was the one who told me: "Look, you are still young. Don't be afraid to try the unknown. If you don't know where a bus leads to, just hop on to it, ride it all the way to the end. The furthest it will go is the terminal. Then you can turn around and come back. Along the way, you have the pleasure of looking at the sights and listening to the sounds that the journey provides."
How right he was, too. The only drawback I experienced from my 10-mile bicycle trip was a severely cramped leg when I leapt into the water. Fortunately for me, the water wasn't tha deep so I still had one good leg to hop back to safety. But it was a lesson well learnt.
When you are at the overdrive of your life, you think nothing of sitting at the front row of a cinema. Your eyes are almost touching the screen. It was the cheapest seat I could afford and I couldn't afford much. There I was, trying to adjust my normal vision with the gigantic screen. After a while, it didn't really matter because I was too engrossed in the tale that was screened.
As one touches the veil of adulthood, one always think the world can wait for us. I had that experience. It was exhilarating. It was exciting and girls seemed so far away. We didn't have time for them. I didn't anyway.
Now as I glanced back over my shoulder to envision those wonderful, carefree days, a smile washes over my face. Yes, it was a great time. Then, I realise "hey, it's not over yet. As long as I have breath in my body, everyday can be another stupedously thrilling day."
And so my adventure begins again. This time on a different level..........

Remembering those who have passed on

In my decades of wandering on planet Earth, I have had my fair share of losing friends. Not because we quarrelled but due to the fact that their time on earth had expired.
At the age of 21, I received news one day that a good friend Png Soo Keat had died in a tragic accident the previous day. At that age, one never thought a person can die at that age. Soo Keat was the same age as me.
We were almost as thick as thieves. We exchanged thoughts about the kind of girlfriends we would like to have and other nonsensical issues that occupied our less-than-adult minds.
Then one day, he was gone. Most of us attended Soo Keat's funeral. We carried his coffin and reminded ourselves that life in general as its shelf-life. The years went by and we forgot about the frailty of life, until the next time Death comes a-calling.
Those who I remember right now and are no longer with us are Raymond Nathan, Goh Keng Lee, Subintheran, Mah Swee Aun, Johnny Yap, Veera, John Pillai. Low Chee Wah, Barney, Long John, Jambo, Khairi, Ambrose, Mike Cannon, John Bagley, Peter Sullivan, Francis Chong, Jeffrey Ramayah, Laksana, David Thamyah, Noordin Soopiee, S.H.Tan and Maarop Noh.
I am sure there are others but I have forgotten them. Sometimes when we take our jobs too seriously, we should remember all those who have left us. Perhaps, according to our own perception, they left too soon. Death is a constant reminder that in everything we do, the good deeds are the things that linger on after we have quietly or noisily passed on.
Most of us would like to live long, have lots of money, buy anything we want, eat everything we want and wake up at anytime we want. The obituaries are signposts that tell us that in everything we do, we have to do them to the best of our abilities. That way, even if we should depart hastily, we won't have left a job half-done.
Nobody would like to enterain the thought of his actual day of passing. We all think we "can handle it" when the time comes.
In a way, Death is good for us all. It means we have shed all of our earthly burdens. The journey on the other side is one devoid of physical labour. Not that kind we see on earth.
I have read numerous books and articles about those who have had experienced Near Death Experiences (NDE). Not a single one complained that he has to do hard labour when he was on the other side.
Sometimes when I catch myself pondering over these ties I have had with the friends who have gone over to the other side, I realised how fleeting most relationships were.
We don't value time with friends as much as we should. We don't really think of them when they are not with us but some of these memories are very pleasant. Thus, it is prudent to value the time we spend with friends.
For example, about an hour ago, I had lunch with my former boss. He comes around and strenghten old ties with friends on a regular basis. Sometimes, I do wonder when he passes on, too that will I remember him with some fondness.
Most of us don't put a price on anything until we have lost it.And that includes humans. Have you ever heard of people saying "I was talking with him yesterday". Obviously, they are referring to someone whom they met and now is no longer with the among the living.
This friend with whom I had lunch said: "Nothing in life happens by accident. The fact that we are meeting now is a date kept by Destiny." I too subscribe to this kind of philosophy. Every encourter, whether with a friend or a stranger is a lesson, either for me or for the other party.
If we only realise how precious life is, and how wonderful it can be, we will waste no time in living from moment to moment. And if we are given the opportunity of creating excellence or doing the best we can, as long as we can, and as much as we can, we should do it.
Isn't that is our destiny? Our destiny is to be the greatest version of the grandest vision of ourselves. We can achieve such a phenomenon.
Life is a journey. The lessons are the people we met. Lessons are also found in failures. If we can inspire others and motivate the disheartened then our jobs on earth are half-done.

When colleagues leave for greener pastures

Recently, a whole bunch of old friends and office colleagues took up a company offer to opt for early retirement. The whole thing came as a result of a downsizing exercise by the organisation.
A number of them received some hefty payouts, much to the envy of those who thought they too could use that kind of money. Anyway, several of them have already been head-hunted and have begun work elsewhere. So that sudden windfall by our generous benefactors was most welcome.
A close colleague of about 30 years couldn't believe his luck. He's only 51 and had been praying for a grand "retirement gift" for years. Well, this time he struck gold. He was so beside himself with joy that he threw two parties for all of us. It was his way of saying, let's help celebrate my fantastic luck.
Life is such that most of us are accustomed to our old colleagues and after a while, we are like members of the same family. I know I am going to miss a large number of these people.
I have experienced this part of ways before. Decades later when I bumped into them again, I am surprised that physically some of them have changed so much. I always think that I am the one who hasn't changed, but we do change in more ways than one.
Discomfort descends like an unexpected downpour when I forget the names of some of these dear, old colleagues. It's a bit embarrassing that we were once good friends and somehow at that moment in time, his or her name escapes me. Oh my God, I am sorry, I say quietly to myself.
Once, I actually had the fit of forgetfulness, and it was a good friend. It just turned out that her appearance had altered a bit. In fact, she looked better than before. Woman's intuition is always stronger than man's. She sensed that I had forgotten her name and asked, "do you remember my name".
Without missing a beat, I replied "YES!" Her name was at the tip of my tongue but I was too cowardly to say it, lest it was the wrong name. So I took the safe route. I asked: "Give me your latest calling card." Yes, it was her all right. What a relief.
That's what separation of years can do to a person's memories. Now, there's a technique of remembering names, even decades later. My personal memory technique is to pray for all my good friends and name them every day in my prayers.
Decades later, when I encounter them, their names pop up like the rays of the beautiful sunrise in the morning. They will of course express great surprise at my uncanny memory retention but not me because I know better. Wink. Wink.
Sometimes, I think every life is like a book. When we make friends, it's just like reading a book. If we like that book, we keep it and reread the chapters but the book is always with us. Either we carry it with us most of the time, or we leave it in the book shelf but it's there when we want it.
Friendship is a little like that. When we lose that book, we may forget it but years later, when we come across a book with the same title, the memories come rushing back.
Some people are of the opinion that sentimentality is reserved for the soft and weeny. I don't know what they actually mean by that but I love being sentimental. It is a comforting reminder that I have not forgotten those friends who mean a lot to me. It means that our friendship or relationship has not been a journey devoid of meaning.
Every encounter is a lesson benefiting both parties. I always benefit from an encounter, be it a strong friendship or a fleeting acquaintance. Even now, when I think back of my childhood days, I wonder about those friends who came into my life, as I had entered theirs, decades ago.
I try to visualise what they look like now; what they are doing, how do they look now. I can only conclude I won't be able to recognise them even if I come face to face with them. But if fate so decreed that we should meet again, somehow we will meet and we will remember. Such is life.
These days, I cherish all the good times I can muster. Moments like this when I reminisce about the writings in my dad's journal. There was one that I like so much that I had it committed to memory.
Here it is, fresh as the day when it was written. It is an evergreen like the leaves of a tropical forest.

Friendship cheers the faint and weary
Makes the timid spirit brave
Warns the erring, lights the dreary
Smooths the passage to the grave.

Hobbling along awkwardly with a barking dog on your tail

SOME people swear by the vehicle they are driving. Usually it's either a MPV, SUV or EVO-8. Mine is just a plain, old 110CC Suzuki equipped with two wheels of suspect quality.
So one night, at about 2.30pm I was scootering home along some very dark and lonely roads, I suddenly experienced his sinking feeling. It was the air that escaped with a rush in my rear tyre.
"Great!" I told myself. "It's your lucky night!" I had actually meant that sarcastically as I entered the threshold of my neighbourhood. Near the guardhouse, there are usually five or six stray dogs parading in the vicinity. The animals normally couldn't give two barks about me but on that night, they were a little feisty.
Around the time when I discovered to my great horror that I was having a punctured tyre, the stray dogs decided to have some fun with me. They pranced out of the compound where they were prowling and headed towards me - post haste.
Being a man of limited courage, I stared Death in its face. Perhaps I exaggerate but at that moment in time, it seemed quite real. If you have not experienced or "enjoyed" the sight of about four or five dogs charging at you, you really don't know what you are missing.
There I was, gutless and riding on a crippled bike, thinking of my next life-altering decision. I gunned the throttle and prayed very hard. The punctured rear tyre is no fun to play with. It gained a little speed but it wasn't travelling at Formula One speed.
With seconds, the dogs with yelping at my legs. I kept on shoo-ing them. Not that it helped to any significant degree but it was a self-comforting act. My heart raced as fast as the dogs' legs. I prayed my bike wouldn't topple over all of a sudden. That would have been disastrous for me.
A fallen victim is supper for hungry dogs. Then by the grace of my guardian angel after about 25 yards, the dogs got tired of chasing me. My bike was bouncing up and down with great reluctance.
Have you ever tried to outrun dogs on a punctured tyre? Well, don't try. It's really not that exhilarating.
If I had any doubts about the divine protection and existence of guardian angels, they all vanished that night, very much like the mist in the morning. You just can't imagine how religious a person can get when the terrible twins, Death and Fear, jump on to your shoulders. Luckily for me, I am a praying man. There's no doubt about it after that night, I believe the Big Man Upstairs is looking out for me all the time.
I also learnt another very important lesson. Never neglect to service your mode of transportation, no matter how small it is. If the vehicle is in tip-top condition, it will have fewer chances of letting you down. Hallelujah!