Speaking from the heart

HOW many times have you wanted to say something heart-warming to somebody but at the last minute, decide to abort the mission? Many times, am I right?

Yes, I too have experienced that kind of emotional situation. Why do we postpone or cancel feel-good moments like that? My guess is that we feel we will become embarrassed or the other party may feel embarrassed, and consequently there may be a long silence of embarrassed feelings.

About 35 years ago, on the last day of my high school, I decided to throw all caution out to the wind. The story went back about a year before that. A friend whom I had come to respect and like very much, did something that I thought was too much for my ego, so I ended our friendship.

It went on for more than a year, until that last day of school when all of us would go separate ways. Technically, we had reached the end of the road. The road further travelled would be done without the company of classmates, because that was when we started to plan for university and beyond.

I really like this guy because we had lots of things in common, so on that day, something happened. It was as if an angel had whispered in my ear and said: "This is your last chance to repair the broken friendship. Shake hands and be done with it."

So after some careful consideration, I walked up to this classmate and said: "I know when we haven't been friends for some time now but I like to be friends again and let bygones be bygones."

The look on this classmate's face was worth a million bucks. His facial expression revealed that he was so relieved that I had said it first although that was what he had in mind all the time but lacked the courage to carry it through. And so a friendship was saved.

We are still great friends today even though we had gone separate ways and led separate lives.

This is what I am driving at. Sometimes, there come opportunities to say things direct from the heart. These are some of the most precious moments in life. You will never know how much it will mean to the other person and how those kind words of yours will change his or her life for the better.

My advice to all those who hesitate: DON'T. Say it and be done with it. Don't let 20 years pass you by and then meet again when you two are in the twilight of your lives and then realise how you have missed that golden opportunity.

Yesterday, I gave my daughter the same advice when she asked me if she should buy her friend who's going overseas to study, a present. I told her that if she cannot afford to buy a gift for this friend, then thank her verbally for all those nice things her friend had done for her.

I said: "There are many times in your life when kind and sincere words are worth more than gold. These are treasured for a lifetime. More than that present which you have spent on. Tangible gifts are soon forgotten but not gifts from the heart, because these are stored in the heart and they will remain fresh forevermore."