EVERY PARENT, bar none, wants his only child or children to be smart (preferably genius level), hardworking, disciplined and obedient. Personally, I do not harbour such unreasonable expectations.
I am one of those old-fashioned parents. I like my children to be happy, yes, hardworking too, joyful, organised, disciplined and have the never-give-up attitude. I find that children these days are either spoilt or too stressed-out by parents with unreasonably high expectations.
Sure, which parent does not want his offsprings to be successful in everything he or she does. All of us want that even if we didn't finish high school ourselves. Yes, we are unreasonable and we don't like arguments about that.
I find children who do not face too much pressure growing up becoming saner adults in later years. I have lectured my children on numerous occasions that it doesn't matter if they didn't win the Nobel prize but if they try their best at anything they do, I am satisfied.
There's only one condition: if they stumble, I would like to see them get back on their feet and carry on as if nothing has happened. I reckon that there will be many times in their growing years when they would "fail". It is only natural that such things happen.
Normal children should not be spared the pains of experiencing minor setbacks. Life is not a string of unbroken successes. What's there to learn then if that is the case?
So I have told my wife on several occasions that I rather have the children obedient, loving, lovable and hardworking than being arrogantly clever, unsympathetic, cocky and wasteful. If they have the traits of the latter group, they would break my heart.
It is terrible to have a grown up son or daughter who feels that you are like a dodo in matters of the world. It would even be more heart-rending if they treat you like a used tissue when you are old and feeble and you still love them despite their unloving ways.
I have seen parents who have children who belong to the obedient, not-so-clever, hardworking, filial category. It brings joy to my heart to learn that these parents are so lucky to have such children.
I have also seen parents who have given their children the best in terms of education and things they need in life. In exchange, the children have become spoilt, unreasonable and dreadful. They are ungrateful for the great things they have in life. They take for granted that they do not starve or have to struggle for a living because their parents are rich and belong to the upper middle-class.
Some of these parents have got beautiful houses but their homes are devoid of love and warmth. The parents are also unhappy and after a while care only of their own interests. Whose fault is all this? I am not sure but somewhere along the line, I feel the children lost their way because the parents were not walking on the right path themselves.
Children are ours to mould, but they are not our exclusive rights. They will grow up despite our best efforts. We can only guide them with our examples, teach them with our love and bless them with our prayers. The rest is generally up to them.
If one day, they come home to look after us when we least expect them to, then we have been successful parents. Love is the best course to take. If you love your children from cradle to grave, they will return the favour a thousand fold until they themselves become parents themselves.
Children and parents learn from each other. One teaches the other in ways we do not comprehend but children are our second chances to develop the wonder of growing up, something which most of us have forgotten while we were eagerly making our way to the top or in a hurry to be adults.
Don't fret and moan, just do it!
Call all knife knuts
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