YOU probably have heard the phrase a million times: Living a life of quiet desperation. Before you embark on your second thought, be aware that there are millions of people, mostly living in the city, who are living lives of quiet desperation.
The definition of "quiet desperation" in the urban context means you go to work, you slog almostly mindlessly, then you go home but not before you get caught in the traffic jam. Once home, you take out your TV dinner, sit in front of the TV naturally and watch the shows until you think it's time to go to sleep. And you do this for months and years.
There's a chance, you may be single, very ordinary-looking, nothing spectacular in the skills department and you are normally not included in the "hottest-party-of-year" list.
Your parents are staying too far away from your work place. You go home once a year or you may never go home because that's why you flee to the city anyway. If you are all these or more, then you qualify to be "living a life of quiet desperation".
Here are a few tips of breaking out of this vicious and desperate cycle or circle, you prefer.
First, join a society of good intentions, meaning helping others. It could be the Befrienders, Soup Kitchen of some sort, Meals-on-Wheels Society, St Vincent de Paul Society, anything, so long as you get to help others more unfortunate than you.
The idea is not to feel so sorry for yourself until you are sucked into this great vortex of self-pity and become paralysed by your own inertia.
Second, indulge in some healthy hobby. It could be salsa dancing, taking Spanish or Mandarin classes. When you seek to improve your mind, you will inadvertently find like-minded people who also happen to be interesting people. Socialise, be a bit of a gossiper with good intentions.
When you crawl out of your own little cave, you will be surprised to find there are lots of interesting people and things which will take up at least three lifetimes to complete and enjoy.
Third, volunteer to do things for people free of charge. At first, they may think you are a bit of a looney. Whoever heard of a selfless human being living in a dog-eat-dog world?
Pay no heed to doubters of your good-self and people who are constantly plagued by other's good intentions. Do this act for fun. Do it to bewilder others. Do it for yourself.
Fourth, set a target or project which is achievable for yourself. Perhaps you want to visit Paris or Salsburg next year. Well, plan that holiday, 12 months ahead. Read up about your destination. Hook up with some travel agency. Some of life's best memories come from meeting fellow holiday makers who are also "struggling in life" like you. Not everybody is Bill Gates or Donald Trump. Most travellers save for years to go on holidays.
Fifth, go to church now and then. Nobody, especially yourself, wants to be called a religious fanatic. Pray a little at times. Tell God you want to get in touch with your soul or him. Don't blackmail or threaten God. Many have tried, none has succeeded. If you pray sincerely, ask the right things with only kindness in your heart, watch the heavens open. Don't put a time-table to your spiritual requests. When God is ready, you will know. Good things will happen. And don't laugh about it. Just accept it. All prayers are answered in one form or another.
Sixth, learn to inspire others. It is not difficult. There are lots of people who are always cursing their own fate. They think they deserve everything that those "lucky people next door" have got.
Say kind words to people. Mean it. Give encouragement to others who may be feeling a bit low on a particular day. Give moral support to those who feel they are all alone in this big, cruel world. They have you, and sometimes it is more than enough.
Seventh, perform random acts of kindness. There was once a book written on this subject. The author mentions various episodes of random acts of kindness and how the world suddenly became brighter and more joyful to the do-gooders.
Eighth, expect nothing from friends, colleagues, family and strangers but do much for those you love and those you hardly know. The trick here is to really EXPECT NOTHING. If you always harbour a secret intention of being rewarded or receive recogntion, then your deed will be ruined by the ulterior motive.
Good things spring from "nothing".
Ninth, learn to be humble about your achievements but don't belittle yourself. In other words, don't sell yourself short. If you have achieved something, nothing magnificent, mind you, just an ordinary act of normal proportions,accept that singular act of achievement as triggering an inner joy which only you experience.
Once you have gained some measure of respect for yourself and at the same time, sparking a love for yourself, you can begin to share that love in your heart with others. If you don't have love in you, you don't have it to give to others. With love, it is intangible and inexhaustible. The idea is to create it and watch it grow. Love comes from an eternal source. Its reservoir is not found on earth but its contents can be tapped by all mankind. It is your duty and mission on earth to find it and share it. That's the only way, you will enjoy its benefits.
Tenth, be everlastingly optimistic. Find hope in every act or deed of despair. Don't be incorrigible agent of confidence and joy. Others may find such behaviour irritating, but don't be deterred. Don't be discouraged. In fact, infect others with low spirits with your high spirits.
See hope and love in others more lowly than you. Share your enthusiasm with those who least deserve it. You are the walking fountain of hope and joy. Let the confidence shine through your eyes and you see forevermore.
No comments:
Post a Comment