HOW many times have you wanted to say something heart-warming to somebody but at the last minute, decide to abort the mission? Many times, am I right?
Yes, I too have experienced that kind of emotional situation. Why do we postpone or cancel feel-good moments like that? My guess is that we feel we will become embarrassed or the other party may feel embarrassed, and consequently there may be a long silence of embarrassed feelings.
About 35 years ago, on the last day of my high school, I decided to throw all caution out to the wind. The story went back about a year before that. A friend whom I had come to respect and like very much, did something that I thought was too much for my ego, so I ended our friendship.
It went on for more than a year, until that last day of school when all of us would go separate ways. Technically, we had reached the end of the road. The road further travelled would be done without the company of classmates, because that was when we started to plan for university and beyond.
I really like this guy because we had lots of things in common, so on that day, something happened. It was as if an angel had whispered in my ear and said: "This is your last chance to repair the broken friendship. Shake hands and be done with it."
So after some careful consideration, I walked up to this classmate and said: "I know when we haven't been friends for some time now but I like to be friends again and let bygones be bygones."
The look on this classmate's face was worth a million bucks. His facial expression revealed that he was so relieved that I had said it first although that was what he had in mind all the time but lacked the courage to carry it through. And so a friendship was saved.
We are still great friends today even though we had gone separate ways and led separate lives.
This is what I am driving at. Sometimes, there come opportunities to say things direct from the heart. These are some of the most precious moments in life. You will never know how much it will mean to the other person and how those kind words of yours will change his or her life for the better.
My advice to all those who hesitate: DON'T. Say it and be done with it. Don't let 20 years pass you by and then meet again when you two are in the twilight of your lives and then realise how you have missed that golden opportunity.
Yesterday, I gave my daughter the same advice when she asked me if she should buy her friend who's going overseas to study, a present. I told her that if she cannot afford to buy a gift for this friend, then thank her verbally for all those nice things her friend had done for her.
I said: "There are many times in your life when kind and sincere words are worth more than gold. These are treasured for a lifetime. More than that present which you have spent on. Tangible gifts are soon forgotten but not gifts from the heart, because these are stored in the heart and they will remain fresh forevermore."
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Remembering my father on Father's Day
My father died about nine years ago. He had led an interesting life, even though there were hard times for him as well as for us, his children. However, God has always been with us, and we survived and became stronger.
Now that I too am a father, I recall what all fathers may sometimes care to remember, that my children, our children, will walk down the same path all fathers will walk down.
It is not a difficult road if you don't make such a big deal out of it. It is easiest to travel when your heart is full of joy and you perform your fatherly duties out of love more than anything else.
I have been a father for about 25 years. It wasn't really difficult, I can now admit. In fact, it has been rather pleasant because I never consider it a chore. I took it in stride.
All of us men will one day be a father with the exception of a few who choose not to be fathers themselves. But it is a marvellous role - to be a father. Your children will make it all worthwhile.
There's nothing like having your offsprings remembering you in their own special ways. Life is like that. You teach them and at the same time you learn from them. One of the secrets of wonderful living,you learn as you teach.
There is no exception. Living and learning is a dual highway. It transcends all ages and make exceptions for none.
Today's Father's Day will be celebrated in a way by all fathers who have brought up their children to be better than themselves. It is a hope that I harbour, that my children will live their own lives beautifully and magnificently.
If I can help them to move faster along that road, so much the better. If not, may other experiences help to shape their character for the better. Being a man and then a father is a privilege. It took me a long time to realise that.
Now that I understand its message, the children become special to me, just as I am precious to them.
A Happy Father's Day to all fathers who are reading this.
Now that I too am a father, I recall what all fathers may sometimes care to remember, that my children, our children, will walk down the same path all fathers will walk down.
It is not a difficult road if you don't make such a big deal out of it. It is easiest to travel when your heart is full of joy and you perform your fatherly duties out of love more than anything else.
I have been a father for about 25 years. It wasn't really difficult, I can now admit. In fact, it has been rather pleasant because I never consider it a chore. I took it in stride.
All of us men will one day be a father with the exception of a few who choose not to be fathers themselves. But it is a marvellous role - to be a father. Your children will make it all worthwhile.
There's nothing like having your offsprings remembering you in their own special ways. Life is like that. You teach them and at the same time you learn from them. One of the secrets of wonderful living,you learn as you teach.
There is no exception. Living and learning is a dual highway. It transcends all ages and make exceptions for none.
Today's Father's Day will be celebrated in a way by all fathers who have brought up their children to be better than themselves. It is a hope that I harbour, that my children will live their own lives beautifully and magnificently.
If I can help them to move faster along that road, so much the better. If not, may other experiences help to shape their character for the better. Being a man and then a father is a privilege. It took me a long time to realise that.
Now that I understand its message, the children become special to me, just as I am precious to them.
A Happy Father's Day to all fathers who are reading this.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Losing track of time
According to my el-cheapo but reliable watch, it is now 3.50pm. I believe it is fast by one or two minutes but it's all right, I can live with that.
I have been in the office since 10am. The hours have flown swiftly past without me realising too much of the "lost" time. Anyway, life slips by you pretty quickly if you are busy doing your daily chores.
My daily routine comprises running around having tea breaks, lunch and chit-chat sessions with office colleagues. If I have the time, I will sit down and do some work for the organisation. Kidding!
Anyway, I told someone the other day that I was slightly surprised that it was June already. I could still recall Christmas celebrations with great clarity. Has it been six months since? Where has it all gone to?
As I have always maintained, Time is just a figment of man's imagination. Time was originally created to bring some semblance of order to man's life. Time or the watch or clock was invented and designed so that a person's life and work can be organised in the most intelligent manner conceivable.
There is such a thing as "losing track of time". Such a situation arises when an individual is too busy doing something else. It means that you are so engrossed in performing the "now" activities that you completely forgot to look at your watch and thus forgotten you are operating in your own time zone.
A person who knows about the value of time and also knows how to purposely "lose" time is the captain of his own fate. In other words, time has got no hold on you because you choose whether to recognise its importance or not take note of it to your own advantage.
Time, at the end of the day, can be an ally or a foe. It depends on how you use it. Having said all that, I have to admit I love wearing watches. It just helps me to organise my tasks which I set for myself throughout the day. Then, on the other hand, I also ignore my watch when the occasion calls for it.
There is really no point being "tied to time" when losing track of it will be to your greatest advantage.
Remember where all of us will end up eventually, time does not reign. So now you understand its overstated significance.
I have been in the office since 10am. The hours have flown swiftly past without me realising too much of the "lost" time. Anyway, life slips by you pretty quickly if you are busy doing your daily chores.
My daily routine comprises running around having tea breaks, lunch and chit-chat sessions with office colleagues. If I have the time, I will sit down and do some work for the organisation. Kidding!
Anyway, I told someone the other day that I was slightly surprised that it was June already. I could still recall Christmas celebrations with great clarity. Has it been six months since? Where has it all gone to?
As I have always maintained, Time is just a figment of man's imagination. Time was originally created to bring some semblance of order to man's life. Time or the watch or clock was invented and designed so that a person's life and work can be organised in the most intelligent manner conceivable.
There is such a thing as "losing track of time". Such a situation arises when an individual is too busy doing something else. It means that you are so engrossed in performing the "now" activities that you completely forgot to look at your watch and thus forgotten you are operating in your own time zone.
A person who knows about the value of time and also knows how to purposely "lose" time is the captain of his own fate. In other words, time has got no hold on you because you choose whether to recognise its importance or not take note of it to your own advantage.
Time, at the end of the day, can be an ally or a foe. It depends on how you use it. Having said all that, I have to admit I love wearing watches. It just helps me to organise my tasks which I set for myself throughout the day. Then, on the other hand, I also ignore my watch when the occasion calls for it.
There is really no point being "tied to time" when losing track of it will be to your greatest advantage.
Remember where all of us will end up eventually, time does not reign. So now you understand its overstated significance.
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