The grass is not greener on the other side

Human beings are fickle and they always remain so as long as they are citizens of planet Earth.

Take for example, some former office colleagues of mine. After spending several fruitful and uneventful years with their old employer (my current firm), they decided to get up and go.

Sure enough, they landed a job with a rival firm. Initially, things were very new to them. After a while, they realise that even though they got a small increase in remuneration, office atmospher in the new company wasn't much to shout about.

And if they were allowed to shout, they would probably complain. One brave soul admitted that our old employer was a much better place. The new place was too sterile and was definitely too regimented.

But it took a small salary increase and 12 months down a new avenue for the truth to surface. It is the scourge of most employees that they constantly entertain the thought that new jobs in new firms mean better working environment and excellent lifestyle.

It is seldom so. In fact, most of the time, it is a downhill race, unless the new place happens to be your own business. Yes, some people risk it all in a single throw of the dice to alter their fortunes.

Working for yourself simply translates into "no closing time". In other words, self-employment means doing all it takes to turn in a profit. Not many people are so lucky.

They can go into business for themselves but they probably won't see any meaningful profits until and unless they also have an enormous amount of luck.

Otherwise, it is just a long train journey down Worry-ville!

The saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" also applies to migration to another country, marrying another person and adopting a totally new lifestyle.

Of course, we all hope and pray that we are doing the right thing when we take this mighty leap.

For example, migrating to another country. A number of my friends who were married before they migrated, ended up losing their marriages as well when they struggled to adjust to life in a new nation.

Apparently, the stresses and strains that are part and parcel of adjusting to a foreign society and new environment took a heavy toll on matrimonial harmony. Not many spouses (man or woman) are so understanding when the odds are stacked against them.

So in the case of a broken marriage, especially in a foreign country, the grass is obviously not greener on the other side.

This goes for picking another life partner. One of the reasons for high divorce rates in some societies is because of the accessibility to divorce. Couples who feel they can have easy recourse to a bad marriage often opt for it the moment a quarrel surfaces.

Then months or a few short years later, they marry again. Hoping and keeping their fingers crossed that the marriage would work this time. While some second marriages do work, a large number of second marriages are doomed to fail the day after the "I do's" are said.

From then on, everything is "do not". The glitch in this case is not the marriage but the partner (either one). All marriages are okay but life partners who are immature or are flawed in personality traits will always take the easy way out when voices are raised beyond the level of reason.

Thus divorce always seems to be the better and easier option. Take a look at the grass on the other side next time. Take your time, it is actually the same colour as your side.

It's just that you THINK it's greener. It is the same. Not greener, not yellower, or even redder.

The solution lies with you and all the answers to your own problems in life are locked in your heart and mind. Sit down, reflect, don't expect much, mentally commit to be a better person, work hard to succeed no matter how hard the going gets and you will be all right.

Other than that, I can only say, squeeze in some personal happiness and joy while you are at it. Spread it around. Don't be selfish.